Baby I'm Addicted
by rosalice101
Summary: Up and coming author Edward Cullen is a recovering sex addict. He seems to have a taste for a certain type of women. So his publisher and best friend Alice finds him a ghost writer who is completely opposite to his usual kind, Bella swan is soft, rounded, not that tall, chubby and she does not take shit from anyone. Apparantely Edward is a closet chubby chaser too.. Mature readers
1. Chapter 1

AN- This is going to be full of indecent language, dirty thoughts and possibly some dirty sex in the future... So if that is not your thing then please just don't read it. Edward will be quite OOC Bella will be very different too. This might not be the most original thing you've ever read but I just needed to get this out of my mind.

Chapter-1 I am an Addict

Sexual addiction (sometimes called sex addiction) is a conceptual model devised in order to provide a scientific explanation for sexual urges, behaviors, or thoughts that appear extreme in frequency or feel out of one's control. This phenomenon has been described in many different terms: Hyper-sexuality, erotomania, nymphomania, satyriasis, compulsive sexual behavior, etc.

No, I'm not a psychological intellectual. Yes, all that is from Wikipedia.

Now let me tell you how something as wonderful, as magical and as miraculous as sex, almost destroyed me.

Edward Masen Sr. was a lawyer, a good, rich lawyer. He was also my father; he was good at that too. And now that I think about it, the fact that my father was actually a proper one… pisses me off, I mean you hear about douche bag fathers all the time, why couldn't I have a father who was a drunkard or a runaway or just an all round piece of shit? If he was, then I wouldn't have felt so utterly devastated about the fact that he had died and taken my beautiful, sweet, loving mother with him.

It was more than sudden; I lost my whole life in a matter of seconds. One day I had just recently graduated from high-school, already been accepted into a college of my choice and the next, I was alone and cold. Up until this point in my life, I had never suffered loss except perhaps the death of my pet gold fish and I never even liked that gold fish, it was the most boring pet ever.

It was the day of my parents' funeral that I lost my virginity to dear Tanya. She was twenty four, beautiful, blonde, with large breasts which were entirely too firm to be real and the most enchantingly talented tongue. Sex was perfect. It took you away, to great heights, it made you forget, it was so much pleasure… but not just taking, no, the best part about sex is the giving. Sharing ecstasy with someone, that's the definition of everything that is right with the world.

I had suffered the greatest loss of my life but I had absolutely nothing to show for it. The only people in whose life I actually made a difference, to whom I mattered, were gone forever but, whatever, I got a gigantic trust fund and was taken in by my uncle and aunt.

It was the time spent with Tanya after my parents' funeral that was my first taste.

And it was delicious… But then it all went downhill.

I thought I was handling my problem quite well but then I had slept with all the girls on the college campus who were willing to put out. Yeah that gave me a reputation…

The icing on the cake was the fact that I slept with my college dean's wife hours after sleeping with his daughter… in his office… right after he gave me a merit certificate on convocation day…

I have a problem.

My name is Edward Cullen and I am a sex addict.

AN- be kind and leave a review please!


	2. Chapter 2

AN- ladies and ladies, I present thee with dialogue; and plot; and more Addictward.

Shout out to 1Bedward for being my first review, I shall name my bitch's first born puppy after you (this is not slang I have a female pug who is pregnant)

Thank you for being kind!

Chapter-2 Why me?

Alice was looking at me like I had just sprouted nipples on my forehead.

"Could you please not look at me like that?" I requested.

Alice blinked her eyes twice and shook her head, "No! I mean YES! Yes of course but wait wait… say that again, one more time please, I don't think I heard you right." She sputtered.

Sigh, "Yes you did Alice; I said that I am a sex addict."

"That's a thing? A real thing? Wait," she proceeded to press a button on the telephone on her desk.

'_Good Morning Alice! How may I help you today'_ said the voice of Rosalie Hale who is Alice's Secretary and my Sister-In-law ,now that I think about, the fact that my brother is married to her is the only reason why I never tried to sleep with Rosalie, that and the fact that she hates me and probably wants to murder me in my sleep… long story.

"Hey Rose! Is Sex Addiction a real thing?" Blunt, Alice is blunt.

'_Excuse me?!'_ asked Rose.

"Sex addiction! Is it a real thing?!" Alice repeated.

Oh dear god…

'_Oh for fuck's sake Alice if you want to have a romp with Jasper midday, then just go and do it, don't try to justify your horniness with psychological issues!'_ Yeah… that's Rose alright.

"What! No! Not me! It's Edward who is claiming to be a sex addict!" Alice shrieked.

"ALICE! DISCRETION! HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF IT?!" I yelled.

"What…" She shrugged.

'_Oh my god is that asshole trying to sleep with you? Do you want me to kick his ass?' _Rose chimed in.

"Rosalie I am not trying to sleep with anyone! You people are ridiculous! Yes, Sex addiction is a real thing GOOGLE IT!" It's no wonder I have issues, I _choose_ to surround myself with these crazy people.

"Okay Edward, calm down. I'm sorry… but you can't just spring things like that on people and then expect them to not react." Said Alice "So, you are a Sex Addict… Great… I mean NOT GREAT but at least you're not doing meth." She reasoned.

"I'm glad you see the silver lining here Alice" I said dryly.

'_So what is it? Are you addicted to internet porn? Did you blow all your trust fund money on hookers? Why are you telling this to Alice? Did you jack off too much and your dick fell off?'_ Rosalie asked.

"No!" I winced "What kind of person do you take me to be Rose?"

'_I think you're an asshole' _Rosalie replied easily, Alice grimaced.

"Okay… that was a rhetorical question but never mind that, I'm telling this to Alice because I'm getting help, I have started seeing a therapist… and Dr. Banner thinks that recovery will be easier if I have the support of the people I love and care about…" I admitted.

'_Wow… this got mushy and I lost interest in it… get well soon nympho!' _ She disconnected. And that is the extent of the love and support I'm ever gonna get from Rosalie.

"Don't mind her Edward; her heart is in the right place…" Said Alice.

"That is, if she has a heart" I replied snidely.

"Edward, I'm glad that you came to me with this… And of course I support you! All of us will! But Edward… I mean I knew that you slept around a bit in college but I never realized it was that big a problem." Alice said.

"I slept with everyone barring you, the accapella girls and the girls from the cookery club." I said… I'm ashamed of myself.  
"What about the Chastity girls, who were saving themselves for marriage?" Asked Alice.

"I removed their promise rings with my teeth…" I'm very ashamed of myself.

"Edward there was twenty girls in that group." Alice eyes seemed on the verge of popping out of her skull.

"Everyone" I admitted in a small voice.

"Wow…" Alice breathed and then there was awkward silence

"I don't have any STDs" I offered.

"Thank god you said that, I was wondering how to ask!" Sighed Alice.

"Well that's that, I'm gonna go now and don't forget that you need to find me that ghost writer… I hate typing; I start working on the novel in a week. So, please sort me out." I said walking towards the door.

"Yeah you got it… Hey Edward? Just out of curiosity… Why didn't you ever try to sleep with me?" She asked.

Oh Alice…

"Because I didn't want Jasper to kill me," I smiled as I winked at Alice to which she smiled in return and got back to typing something in her computer "And because I don't have a pixie fetish" I completed when I was well away from her office.

AN- So yes, be kind and leave me review, tell me how you people like my take on our favorite characters.


	3. Chapter 3

AN- Thank you to the brilliant people who have reviewed, or put the story on alert, you are the souls that make the world a beautiful place…  
Onward with Edward!  
WARNING- self loving session in there… story earns its rating.

Chapter-3 God Must Truly Hate Gingers

Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I think about the douche bag that came up with the concept of waking up in the morning and I wish an eternity in hell upon him.

Speaking of hell… morning wood.

Dr. Banner said that I should practice abstinence… He didn't say anything about jacking off.

As I palmed myself through my boxers, the feelings of guilt all but evaporated… I'm a man and I have needs and it has been entirely way too long.

I remember when I was younger I used to think about Selma Hayek while masturbating but that was pure imagination fuelled by nothing but teenage hormones… I have real memories now, but strangely enough it's not some past lover who I think about when I do this… it's this abstract idea of a woman… I don't know her, I don't know how she looks but I just think about that woman a lot… she's warm, with a nice smile… I like girls with pretty smiles but not the fake kind, real smiles, smiles which crinkle up the eyes.

She laughs a lot, she's never afraid and… she's always there, always warm…

I fist my erection at the base and stroke my shaft once… it really has been way too long.

She has these amazing tits, big and soft and I love it when she presses up against my chest… drives me crazy… I slide the foreskin back to expose the sensitive tip, stroke myself again slowly tease the tip with my thumb.

She's always so wet for me… and unbelievably tight and so responsive, every touch every stroke gets a response… but she doesn't like being teased…

_Please Edward… don't tease… make me come sweetie I'm so close_

I know baby… It's been so long… you feel so good

_Edward… mmm…. Yeah…. Just like that…_

That's it beautiful girl come for me… come on my cock… you are so perfect. I pump my shaft and bring myself closer to my release.

_I love you Edward… cum for me now sweetie…_

Just like that she was gone and I was left with cleaning myself up with a tissue and wondering why did my figment of imagination always tell me that she loved me before I could get my release… talk about issues.

I pushed myself out of the bed and prepared for the day.

XXX

It was while I was stuffing my face with fruit loops when my cell began ringing with the Tinker Bell 'fly to your heart' song.

"Hey Alice! How's it going?" I asked

'_Sup nympho… this is Rose,' _really! I never would have guessed _'Alice is gonna be at your place at 12:30 to pick you up, she has found you a typist. Now listen close and listen well because I won't repeat myself, Alice trusts you, way too much in fact. Your typist is an old friend of mine and Alice's her name is Bella Swan, She is way out of your league, you do not deserve her, she is perfect, you are a piece of shit, if you touch her, no, scratch that, if so much as look at her the wrong way… I will CUT you… No! I will END you. So don't even think about it…'_

"Back the fuck up! I told you people that I have a problem, a sex problem, you called me a nympho yourself… and then you went ahead and got a female, as my writing companion… the person that I will be spending large amounts of time in close proximity of… DID YOU PEOPLE THINK THAT I AM GAY OR SOMETHING…? I'm in therapy and you people are being so insensitive about this… You do realize that this is like waving rum in the face of a recovering alcoholic?!" I was in a rage…

'_Calm the fuck down Edward! No one is being insensitive here, we realize that you have a problem… but you need to remember that your problem is that you are a sex addict not a rapist… So chill the fuck out… Bella is not like the kind of bimbos that you go for and as I already said you are way out of her league, there will be no problem. Plus she is one of the best people who were available for the job; she has a degree in creative writing she has written for various children, teen and adult magazines. She's 'no-nonsense' Edward, you'll be fine… and if you're not then she will kick your ass.' _said Rosalie

"Wait if she's so good then why is she taking the job of a typist?" I asked.

'_She just came back from London where she was interning for Bloomsbury, Alice, me and Bella go way back, like Forks, back. Alice once read a manuscript of her's but she put it on hiatus, Alice knows that when she does finish that piece its gonna be New York bestseller list material, so to cut the long story short, Alice wants Bells, Bells wants a break, You and your "Writing Palace" is the break… this way you get a ghost writer and someone to bounce your ideas off of, she gets some intellectual stimuli and peace and quiet… Everything will work out.'_

"Did Alice make you memorize all of that?" I asked

'_No, she wrote it all down I'm reading it off a piece of paper'_ she replied making me chuckle.

"So that's Alice, what about you Rose? What do you think?" I asked her.

'_I already told you Edward, mess this up and I will END you.' She replied._

"Well believe it or not that's actually quite assuring." I told her, because it really was.

'_Yeah well, we all have already acknowledged that you're fucked up in the head so…' _said Rosalie

'_So, Lunch at 1, be prepared because all of us will be there we know her from Forks Edward, she's almost like family, so dress nice.' _Alice chimed in.

"Yeah … yeah… I got it, you people have a girl crush on her, I'll behave" I said shaking my head.

"By the way Rose, why do you keep saying I'm out of her out of league? Is she a lesbian?" I asked genuinely curious

'_Close but no, she's not a lesbian, she's bi and you're out of her league because she hates gingers'_ said Rose, with Alice giggling in the background and then they hung up on me.

AN- So here's a taste of our Bella, I have a very clear idea of where I want to take the story because I already have an outline… My Bella is bisexual, don't make any preconceived notions about her, there is so much about her you people have yet to discover. You will not be seeing any threesome sex scenes, this is not foreshadowing for anything, Bella just believes in loving the person not the gender. As for Edward, things will definitely get harder for him (pun intended) before they get easier… Be kind and leave me a review. xx


	4. Chapter 4

AN- Today when I woke up, I had 30 unread emails, full of reviews and alert notifications, you people make me so happy… hugs and wet kisses all round

Now onward with Edward

Chapter-4 The Devil Wears Louis Vuitton

"Alice, have I ever told you that I sometimes wish you were dead…" I said as I tugged at my shirt collar and fidgeted a little more in the passenger seat of Alice's hatchback. Since when is clinging to the skin called well fitting anyway?

"Oh hush! Edward, Bella is important… I just don't want her to be put off by you before I can even get a chance to properly pimp you out." Said Alice.

"Yeah, which is why we dressed you up like a male escort." Supplied Rosalie from the back seat.

"Dearest Rosalie, must you be so charming ALL THE TIME?" I glared at her. To which she replied with a sweet smile and the finger. She was right though... I totally looked like a male escost.

"Is that what's happening here? I can't believe you people… you are whoring me out so that I'll sleep with your friend just so that she'll stick around… you people are sick, you're using my affliction… I'm not a whore!" I seethed.

Alice and Rose both looked at me, eyes wide and mouths hanging open… and then they started laughing… let me rephrase, they were not laughing as much as they were howling.

"What?" I asked

No response…

"What is so funny?!"

No response…

"Guys. Why. Are. You. Laughing?" I ground out.

"Oh my god … I can't… You are way too funny Edward…" Gasped Alice.

And then suddenly she was getting out of the car… I hadn't even realized that she had stopped driving. It looked like we were going to be eating at Esme's favorite place, this where we usually come for Sunday lunches, etcetera.

I opened the car door for Rose and helped her out, barely restraining myself from strangling her as she and Alice were continuing to laugh like maniacs…

Alice gave her keys to the valet and we followed her in, where she gave the name 'Cullen' to the hostess, who was making eyes at me and had a great ass…

_Behave yourself Edward_…

Alice's fiancé, Jasper, my cousin/adoptive brother Emmet and my aunt and uncle/ parents for all intents and purposes, Carlisle and Esme, were already at the table, many 'hellos' were exchanged, Jasper and Carlisle shook my hand, Esme hugged me and kissed my cheek, Emmet tried to kiss me too but I punched him in the kidney instead.

Once we were all seated, I with Rosalie and Alice along with Jasper, on one side of the table and Em, Carlisle, Esme on the other, with a seat left vacant for our guest.

Jasper had noticed the fact that the girls seemed to be very amused by something and asked them about it…

"Oh it's nothing; Edward thinks that we are trying to set him up with Bella." Rosalie guffawed in the most un-ladylike fashion and the whole table barring me and Jasper joined in on the laughter.

"I still don't see the humor in this…" I'm a gentleman but sue me if I don't want to punch Rosalie right now…

"Oh we are so sorry dear, it's just… Bella and You are like polar opposites and not the kind that attract… at all" said Esme with an apologetic look.

"Yeah…" agreed Emmet "Bells is like the sweetest, most amazing, down to earth, yet rock star like person… and you are…-"

"A dick" Rosalie offered.

Esme glared at Rosalie but no one contradicted her… OUCH.

"Talking of sexual organs... how is your nymphomania? Are you like a hypersexual Hulk now? Are you gonna turn green and try to hump all of us?" To my immense agony, Emmet actually seemed genuinely curious...

"For the sake of shit Emmet! Don't sound so bloody hopeful..." Rosalie looked disgusted.

While all of this was happening, Carlisle looked like he wanted to disappear, a look I imagine would be mirrorred on my face and Esme was looking at me like she had just discoverd that I had final stage rectal cancer... kill me now.

I fixed Rosalie and Alice with the most venomous glare I could muster... "Did you two post a bloody status on facebook about it?" I hissed.

"Edward dear, there is no need to be embarrassed, just know that we will always love and support you, no matter what..." Said Esme and nudged Carlisle with her elbow so that he'll say something too

"Yeah we're glad you're getting help." coughed Carlisle.

"Great! glad we talked about it..." please just shoot me now "When is this friend of your's gonna be here?" I asked Alice because I can't take any more of this

"Yeah... Where is this Bella anyway, I can't wait to meet her." Said Jasper, as like me, he hadn't gone to school in Forks with the rest of the gang and had only met them in college.

"Oh yeah… why's that?" I asked him

"Well… I mean Rosalie seems to like her and Rosalie hates everyone... so…" Jasper raised his eyebrows at Rose.

"Oh that's because Rosalie totally had a crush on her…" laughed Alice.

"I didn't have a crush on her…" Rosalie rolled her eyes "She was my best friend. And she was totally awesome..." she had this smile on her face like she knew a secret...

"What do you mean WAS?" Said someone and we all turned to look.

Bella Swan was wearing a khaki green dress, the skirt just barely reached her knee and the dress had black lace sleeves, it was one of the most elegant thing that I have ever on a woman… but what totally threw me was the fact that she was wearing Louis Vuitton BOOTS underneath.

I have to admit that the aforementioned statement is a lie… Her apparel was not the first thing that I noticed on Bella Swan…

No, it was her tits… the most perfect and amazing tits that I have ever seen in my life, not gonna' lie, I got a boner so fast that I got dizzy.

And what threw me was not the fact that she was wearing these kick ass boots… no, it was her smile… using the word smile to explain it seems like an understatement… Bella Swan was full on beaming and she had a little dimple on her left cheek and her eyes crinkled up when she smiled.

She was officially the most beautiful woman that I had ever seen.

That's when I realized, that this was not the first time I had seen her, Bella swan is my imaginary jacking off inspiration… I'm So Screwed

"Miss me Losers?" She said as Rosalie, Alice and Emmet rushed to her side and engulfed her in rib crushing hugs.

AN- so that's that, they finally meet and I agree with Edward… he is so screwed… If anyone is having a problem imagining what Bella looks like in this fic, I'll let you in on a secret… I imagine myself as Bella, but I realize that all you lovely people are not the same size as me… so Imagine a Kat Dennings if she had 32 inch waist with Chloe Marshall's face or just imagine yourself really… It's so much fun that way…

Dress and shoe link will be posted on my profile, Be kind and please please please, reave me a review!


	5. Chapter 5

AN- Okay so it has been brought to my attention that I have not done the standard fan-fic disclaimer, so for the benefit of all the slow ones out there, 'I am in fact Stephanie Meyer. Bella and Edward are real people and they are both my sex slaves.' There, done! (Sarcasm this is sarcasm, twilight not mine please don't sue.)  
For this chapter in particular- I am not Robin Thicke either or associated with him in anyway. Plus, I am in no way associated with E.L. James or have anything to do with fifty shades of grey (except that I read it when it was known as 'Master of the Universe' and liked it better then), I am not making any money off of this and I don't mean to offend anyone I'm just trying to be funny.  
Thanks for all the reviews and alerts and love, I want to make love to all of you (Did I make things weird?)  
Onward With Edward then! WARNING! Our boy is going to have some dirty thoughts in this one.

Chapter-5 Lights, Camera, Boner!

I now know what they meant when they kept on harping about how Bella is not my type… Rosalie and Alice have only ever seen me with a certain type of women… they are usually tall-er, skinny-er, plastic-er (Is that a word?) than Isabella Swan.

I'd like to think that I'm deeper than being attracted to a certain body type but the truth is that I've never been with someone who looked as real, as soft, and as _totally fuckable as _Bella Swan. I mean you could bend her over and take her from the behind… Imagine her ass _jiggling _as I smack it while fucking her…

_Jesus Christ… who are you? Robin Thicke? Get a handle on yourself man… geez!_

While I was going absolutely crazy with imagining a hardcore porn scene in my mind and then berating myself for it, the girls and Emmet were almost done with their, frankly disgustingly emotional reunion.

I stood up to finally meet the famous Bella Swan and Jasper followed suit.

As soon as she had un-tangled herself from the arms of my family, she rushed towards me and Jasper and pulled us both down in an embrace and then planted large kisses on both our cheeks… _what the hell…_

"Jasper! Edward! It's been so long… I missed you two the most!" said Bella, her eyes dancing with humor and everyone started laughing… I included, although it took Jasper a minute to figure out the joke.

"I'm just messing with you guys." She said, shaking her head "It's great to meet you" She smiled.

Bella moved along and hugged Carlisle and Esme too before everyone settled down.

"If you're wondering, the blond one is Jasper and the ginger one is Edward" Rose informed Bella.

"Yeah, I figured that actually," said Bella, looking at me "I mean the way she was talking about you; I almost started believing you fart rainbows, so I figured that you were either really ugly or really ginger."

"Okay really, my hair is really just auburn I mean… it's not red." I protested.

"Yeah well, what do you know? You don't have a soul…" she shrugged.

"Seriously… ginger joke? I'm almost disappointed." I chuckled.

"I'd be disappointing myself if I didn't…" she said, with a sheepish look on her face.

"We really missed you Bella, I was expecting you to call me every once in a while… I'm very disappointed in you young missy…" Esme berated her.

"Don't worry Esme; you're still my favorite MILF…" she said, to which Esme started giggling like a schoolgirl "I mean seriously, did you stop aging or something? And you Doctor-Do-Me, No man over thirty five should look so good! Are you trying to kill someone?" said Bella looking at Carlisle, who was actually blushing…

"Stop hitting on my parents Bella!" Alice beckoned the waiter to come and take the order "And tell me how was England?" she asked.

"Well… it was wet and cold and sloshy, London is a lot like New York actually… but with lesser English people" we all chuckled at that "and full of people who pretend to like you but secretly wish that you were dead… So, it was GREAT! My kinda' place" she winked.

We all ordered, the girls were now monopolizing the conversation with little to no input from the guys and I… was imaging Bella naked, in a number of rather unorthodox position… now that I had heard her voice I was imagining her saying various dirty _dirty_ things to me.

_For the sake of love man… don't get a boner, your mother is literally inches away from you, have some shame… Jesus!_

"So Edward…" Bella started, and my heart literally stopped for a minute "I hear you need some help with your new novel."

"Yes and I'm offering anyone who is willing to help, credits in the acknowledgement and a stay at my luxurious penthouse in Seattle for as long as it takes to finish the novel" Alice better be proud of me, I'm whoring myself out now… and it has absolutely nothing to do with the hardness in my pants.

Bella raised her eyebrows at me, "Not gonna' lie dude, but that sounds a lot like the plot to a really bad porno…" she said matter of factly, causing Emmet to choke on his drink... and everyone else burst out laughing, me too, but I have a feeling that I sounded just a teeny tiny bit hysterical.

_See… she can sense it, you're radiating perversion... be ashamed of yourself._

"But… I'm intrigued," she said, shaking her head "I read the first one in the series yesterday 'Lizzie Perell and The Shooting Star' so I have to ask, Why a children's book?"

"Simply because children believe better," this was my comfort zone, work talk, I can handle work talk "That way I can focus on making plot _better_ without having to worry about _justifying_ the plot."

"Wow… Smart!" she looked genuinely impressed, which made my heart swell. _I'm pathetic…. _"And evil enough to exploit the innocence of the little ones… Alice! I believe this might just work!" she said raising her glass and Alice almost shattered her's with a little too much enthusiasm while the clinking…

_At least I'm better than Alice; I'm definitely not that obvious…_

"And I get publishing dibs on _your _novel?" Alice was squealing now…

"_Publishing dibs?_ You know… that's the most professional thing anyone has ever said to me…" Bella teased, Alice was now jumping up and down on her seat "Okay! Okay! I'll do it, you have all the dibs, just please don't piss yourself"

"Eeeep!" Alice screamed and tried to jump across the table to hug Bella.

Everyone cheered and Esme ordered us all blueberry cheesecake.

"Its official then," Rose said to Bella "You're coming back!"

"Did you honestly think that I'll say no?" Bella was looking at Rose with a peculiar expression on her face.

"I don't know Bells you were gone for a long time…" Rosalie had a similar look.

"Yeah… No, that's still you Rose." Bella said wistfully and took another bite of her cheesecake. My perverted brain automatically got to the task of imagining my dick in the place of that lucky _lucky_ fork.

_Are we seriously going to ignore the fact that there is obviously something going on between Rose and Bella and focus on the lustful images that you come up with… yes we are._

The rest of the meal passed quickly and soon the cheque was brought to the table and everyone started haggling over it.

Everyone except Bella, of course, why can't this chick just do normal boring stuff so that I can stop thinking about her?

Apparently Emmet had noticed what I had too…

"Aren't you even gonna' pretend to want to pay the bill?" He asked.

Bella sighed while getting up from the table… "I'm cheap, get over it…" she shrugged, hopping over to hug Carlisle and Esme to hug them where they were sitting, waved us good bye and told Alice that she'll call her later and then she left.

_You do realize that you can't sleep with her?_

What! Why Not?

_Err… remember chapter 1? Sex addiction, therapy, abstinence? Ring any bells?_

NOW THIS OCCURRS TO YOU? WHEN WE JUST SETTLED THE FACT THAT WE ARE GONNA SPEND A LOT OF TIME IN CLOSE PROXIMITY OF EACH OTHER AND SHE HAS THOSE TITS AND OH MY GOD!

_Yeah well you were too busy with your fifty shades of grey fucked up-ness…_

Kill me now…

AN- Ok, so I realize that I shattered the fourth wall, and made some references that can get me in trouble but in my defense… it was too hard to resist.  
I hope you guys like it, if you do, please be kind and tell me about it in the review you're gonna' write for me! (see what I just did there?)


	6. Chapter 6

AN- Thank you so much for all the support that you people are showing me by the reviews and adding my story to your favorite's, you people are the reason why the sun shines!  
Some important things- I don't have a beta, forgive me if the grammar is iffy but there's only so much a girl can do whose first language is not English.  
I've never been in therapy so whatever you are going to read about Edward's sessions is totally made up and inspired by countless hours of American television comedies.  
Onward with Edward, Yes?

Chapter- 6 Demons from The Past

It had been three days since my lunch with Bella, I mean yeah, the rest of my family was there too, but who cares about those pains in the asses anyway, it's because of them that I'm suffering so much…

"If there is a God… then he must really hate me, I tried, I really tried to get my life straight, for the sake of love I got therapy! I changed my mobile number and deleted all my old contacts so that I don't get tempted… I tried to get the support of my family… and what do they do? They bring a life sized embodiment of every fucking wet dream that I've ever had and dump it in front of me… Do you know what that's like Doc? Do you _want_ to know what that's like? The home page on my internet browser is now… I'm going to die and it will be a painful death by blue balls…" Think I'm over sharing? Nah, this is just therapy…

"Edward… I need you to calm down, take a deep breath; I'm here to help you…" might just be the ugliest man in existence with the harshest features and a unibrow, but damn me if he doesn't have a calming voice, sounds a lot like Morgan Freeman actually…  
"Now Edward, you told me that you have been with various women, when you came to get help" He said with a pointed look, I told him that I had been with more than seventy women… "You've been doing so well, why are you reacting this way to this particular woman?" He asked.

"She's different than the others…" I mumbled.

"How so…?" Doc was insistent.

"She's… beautiful and intelligent and funny and just… Amazing." I said, and by the look on 's face I have a feeling that I had a rather disturbing forlorn look on mine.

"Are you trying to say that the other women you were with weren't beautiful, intelligent and funny?" Asked Dr. Banner.

"Well to be honest Doc, I didn't really pay much attention to anything but the sex at that particular time…" I winced, not my proudest moment.

"Exactly, Edward! This is the first time in a long time that you noticed a girl's _personality_ rather than her _body_ and frankly, I'm glad because that is the point of this whole exercise!" He sounded like he had a major breakthrough in the search for the cure of cancer… I wanted to punch him.

"But you don't understand doc… I'm doing pretty well with her personality! I mean I don't want to have sex with her because of her sense of humor!"I exclaimed_, however there is this image of me and Bella that keeps popping up in my mind again and again, It's cold outside and we are both in bed, she is in my arms and we're both snuggled up under the covers because the bed is so deliciously warm… we're making love… I'm inside her hot, tight, wet cunt and she has this smile on her face but she keeps biting her lip because I'm hitting that sweet spot of hers …but I'm getting too close to orgasm too fast so I do something silly to distract us for a bit and our laughter does sinful things to our bodies… __**Oh God… **_

"I'm lusting after her in a way that is totally inappropriate! We're supposed to be working together and I've never felt like this for anyone… at all!" This is so frustrating.

"Then don't work with her." suggested calmly.

"I can't do that!" I exclaimed, outraged. "This is important for Alice." I said glumly. _Yeah sure! This all for the sake of Alice!_

"Well I'm glad that you have your priorities and regard for others… but why is Bella causing such a problem, Edward? You've been doing fine with the program for almost two months now… Is it just the fact that you're abstaining that's making you so restless? Because you'll just have to hold on… it will get better!" Dr. Banner, you are so optimistic and naïve…

"Doc I –"Tell me more about this Bella and how she is so very different from the rest..." interrupted.

"She's so real…" I moaned.

"Excuse me?" he asked

"She… healthier" Why can't I just drop dead…

"So that's it? Is she a yoga instructor? That's why she's so irresistible to you?" Hey Dr. Banner I was promised a judgment free zone.

"No doc, by healthy… I mean curvier…" Dr. Banner still looked clueless.

"Oh for the sake of all that's holy!" I burst out "She's chubby, voluptuous… are you getting what I'm trying to say?"

Dr. Banner raised an eyebrow (because he has just the one) and said "Interesting…" before scribbling something on his note pad.

"No… that's not interesting… what did you just write down?" He must be thinking that I've some sort of a fat fetish now… Damn it!

"Never mind that Edward tell me though, was your mother a bodacious lady?" He asked with interest.

_WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?!_

"FOR THE LAST TIME!" I said as I got up from the couch, I can't take anymore of this "I DON'T HAVE MOMMY ISSUES!"

I marched to the door of his office and turned around one last time.

"I'll see you next time!"

"If I were you, I'd cut back on the porn…"

"YOU CUT BACK ON THE PORN!" and I was out.

XXX

After the midday disaster that was my therapy session, Emmet called just as I was getting a late lunch.

'_Hey bro! Can you make it out to Alice's?' _ He asked.

"Yeah sure dude… What's up?" And then there was a scuffling noise, he had put the phone on speaker mode.

'_Did you notice that there was a little tension between Rose and Bella at lunch the other day?'_ asked the voice of Jasper.

"Yeah…" I did notice but then I got distracted by my perverse thoughts… speaking of getting distracted "Hey guys… How come you people never invite me when you're hanging out together?" I asked

'_Because you're a little shit, who knows jack squat about football.'_ Said Jasper casually

"Wow Jazz! Tell me what you really think." To be honest I can't even argue with that… I hate sports.

'_Anyways! Rosie and Bella met up for brunch today, when she left Rose was a little out of it… y'know, but when she came back, she had these puffy eyes like she'd been crying, when I asked her whether she had a fight with Bella, she said no. So, we're gonna go and ask Alice what's going on'_ Emmet said.

"How do you know whether Alice knows anything about this?" I asked.

'_Alice was freaking out during the week before Bella's arrival dude… and not just because of you, she kept saying that she hoped Bella and Rose can bury the past, whatever that means…'_ Jasper said.

"What about you Em? You went to school with the girls didn't you?" I said.

'_I did, but me and Rose weren't dating back then, she was with that bastard Royce, I used to hang with them sometimes but obviously not as much as Alice and to be frank, back in high school I was just paying attention to my dick, bro…'_ Okay too much information.

"Well what are we waiting for then… let's go bug Alice!" I said as I put my car in ignition and drove towards my dear sister's residence.

AN- So, here it is, I hope you people liked it; we're closer to finding out what's up with Bella and Rosalie… Or are we?  
Be kind; leave me a review and a little love.


	7. Chapter 7

AN- Before we get on with the chapter, can we please talk about sheviking's new fic? In fact let's talk about sheviking in general, is she amazing or is she amazing! I'm so excited about her new story… I'm gonna squeal but I have a feeling that this one's gonna make me cry… oh lordy!  
So what is up with Bella and Rose huh? There's some back-story in there!  
Now! Onward with Edward!

Chapter-7 The Mystery Continues and Some Food Was Stolen

The boys were waiting for me outside Jasper and Alice's place.

"Why did it take you so long?" Emmet sounded irritated and I had barely made it out of the car, I can't do anything right today… "What did you stop for drive through?" He asked.

"I did actually." I said as I waved my McD paper bag at him.

"Oh! Did you get me any?" he looked crestfallen when I shook my head.

Jasper looked disgusted.

"Goodness Em, you just ate!" He said.

"Can we please get inside now? I'm starving!" I may have whined… and just as the words escaped my mouth, the front door opened and out came the reason for all the chaos in my life, it was Bella.

She was wearing a white v-neck shirt and some really tight dark blue jeans with a black leather jacket and black six inch pumps, this was the moment I realized that the sole reason for the existence of Bella Swan was to cause my death.

Her eyes were puffy and red like she had been crying, she looked surprised to see us but she quickly recovered and put a mocking smile on her face.

"Oh look Alice! It's the three stooges!" She exclaimed just as Alice came up behind her.

"Hey guys! What's up?" Alice asked.

"What I can't visit my little sister?" Emmet proceeded to ruffle Alice's hair only to get slapped in the back of the head by her.

Jasper nodded at Bella and made his way into the house, I was about to do the same (perhaps also get a view of her ample bosom) when Bella snatched the bag of food out of my hands.

"Hey!" I protested, only to be silenced by a look.

"Are you really naïve enough to fight a hungry fat chick for food?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"That's my lunch!" I said… but it was weak…

"Not anymore it isn't… nuggets in there?" She was now digging through my lunch… That Bitch.

I just nodded glumly in reply. _Screw you Bella Swan! Screw you and your 'fuck me' pumps and your deliciously ripe tits and I could just bend you over a fucking table and fuck you so hard that you scream and come all over my cock…-__**CAN YOU PLEASE NOT!**_

Her face had now brightened considerably, "See Alice, we've only just met once and dear Edward already knows me so well!" She grinned at me and waved goodbye before walking off to a blue colored Beetle Sport parked across the street.

And I was left empty handed and horny as I watched her walk away with my food and that ass.

"Dammit! You gave it to her but you couldn't give it to me! What kind of a brother are you?!" Emmet looked outraged.

"I hate you people." I said calmly as I went inside to dig through Alice's fridge.

XXX

"Guys that is none of your business!" Said Alice, she actually seemed surprised that we were asking her.

"Alice you literally announced that I have sex addiction over the speaker phone… What's the big deal! Just tell us!" Seriously!

"I can't! And not only because it's none of your business, I have absolutely nothing to tell, I don't know anything about it! If you wanna' know what the matter is, go ask Bella or Rose." Alice seemed sincere and really, if she knew anything she'd have spilled her guts already. I shot a glance at the boys who were sitting on the couch; they seemed to have reached the same conclusion that I had.

"Well then what did Bella say?" Jasper asked

"She didn't say anything, she called me half an hour ago and told me that she needed some company, she came by and she looked really upset, I tried to talk to her but she won't reply to anything I asked her, that's when I remembered that she had that brunch with Rose today and as soon as I mentioned Rose, she got really red in the face and she started weeping and muttering something that was most probably Eminem lyrics…" Alice sounded like she was reciting a list- WAIT!

"Eminem lyrics?" Did she just say that…

"Oh yeah… I forgot she does that." Emmet affirmed.

"You know when we were in sophomore year, our school did a talent hunt thing and Bella serenaded our algebra teacher with Eminem's 'Superman'"

Okay, that is pretty awesome…

"What happened then?" Jasper asked, he sounded amazed.

"She got suspended for a week and registered herself in the history of Forks High as the 'coolest bitch to ever exist'" Emmet replied and silence followed, during which I tried to imagine what would have had happened if I ever did something like that, if I ever had the balls to something like that… _Naw! During high school I was such a pussy, actually talking to someone would have been a feat, let alone performing rap in front of a whole school WHILE insulting a teacher simultaneously._

"Alice… Jasper told us that you were talking about Bella and Rose 'burying the past'?"Emmet asked Alice, bringing us back on topic.

"Guys… We really shouldn't be discussing this behind their backs… It's so wrong!" Alice sighed "So, this is what I know…" Ha! I knew she can't keep her mouth shut. "So school was over and Rosalie had a date with Royce the bastard-""Wait! Royce is the dick who tried to force himself on Rose?" I asked as Emmet rubbed his knuckles unconsciously and cussed something quite illegible "The very same," Alice continued "Bella had a feeling in her stomach that something bad was going to happen so she was followed Rose on the date, in fact she was the one who pulled that dick off of Rose and then proceeded to kick the living shit out of him…"

"Good on Bella!" okay… Can I be more smitten by this woman… goodness!

"Goodness! I love her…" Jasper looked beyond impressed.

"Seriously guys… I owe that woman so much, if it weren't for her, I don't know… what would have had happened to my Rosie…" Emmet said sincerely, his voice was full of emotions.

"So yeah! The thing is Royce didn't dare press assault charges on Bella because her father, Charlie is the chief of police. But apparently Bella and Rose had a huge fighting match when Rose came back from the emergency room." Alice said.

"Why did they fight?" I asked

"I don't know… but I'll tell you one thing, up until that point, Bella was going to attend college with us at the University of Seattle but then after the fight, she suddenly decided to go to England." She concluded.

"Do you think they fought over Bella kicking Royce the dick's ass?" Asked Jasper

"No, According to Rose that was the only good thing that happened that evening, I already asked" Alice replied.

"Well then we are back to square one…" Jasper admitted defeat and me and Emmet shared a look of disappointment.

XXX

It was later in the evening when I was sitting in my apartment, wearing nothing but my boxers, eating Ben & Jerry's 'New York Super Fudge Chunk'(Why? Because fuck you that's why…) and watching the reruns of The Voice when the intercom buzzed.

'_Sir, there's a delivery for you.'_ My doorman Gates said.

"It's like 9 pm…" What the hell.

'It's a bike messenger, Sir' He offered as an explanation to the rather unorthodox timing of the delivery.

"Umm…" I was intrigued "Send him up"

'I did make him walk through the metal detector, thrice' Gates whispered before disconnecting.

The doorbell rang 2 minutes later.

"Delivery for Edward Cullen." The man looked entirely way too cheerful to be working on a Saturday evening, he grinned as he handed me a rather heavy polythene bag.

"Who is it from?" I asked barely restraining, myself from looking inside.

"Bella Swan." _Mustn't lose control in front of the courier; wait for him to go before you open the package._

"Okay… thank you, do I owe you something?" I asked him.

"Oh no man… I got like a hundred bucks for this!" He winked at me before turning towards the lift.

_That's why he's so happy to be working on a Saturday._

I kept the bag on my centre table and then finally peeked inside.

McDonald's…. there were around three burgers in there, a boat load of fries and almost fifty chicken nuggets…

It was my order from earlier, just multiplied by three!

I couldn't stop myself from smiling like a total idiot as I thought to myself that Bella Swan will most certainly be the reason for my death…

And I'm lovin' it!

AN- That was so cheesy… I loved every single bit of it!  
By The way you guys didn't actually think that I'd just tell you the Bella-Rose secret did you? I'm way too cruel for that *insert evil laughter*  
Be kind and leave me a review because they make me so happy! And go check out sheviking's new fic 'Crossing the Lines' if you haven't yet…


	8. Chapter 8

AN- Hello my lovelies! It's been entirely too long, internet was being an ass… but I'm here now and I brought Edward with me. Before we get on with the chapter, I'd just like to thank all the beautiful people who have put me on alert, put the story on alert, started following me/ the story and especially all those who have taken time to leave me a review… You people are the reason why pandas and butterflies exist…  
Now, onward with Edward!

Chapter-8 The Big Move

_It started out innocent enough. We were sitting on the couch watching a movie, eating, talking.  
The conversation turned towards the plot of the movie and how we would change it if it had been ours and then we started discussing the novel. I don't know how we reached this level of physical ease in our relation but we were both stretched out on the couch our toes tucked underneath the others legs and my hand was casually resting on her thigh … like it was the most normal thing in the world. But then suddenly the surroundings changed, we were in my bedroom; she was on my bed… I was hovering above her, we kissed and it was marvelous… 'I've waited so long for this' I whispered against her lips and kiss her again… I feel like I'm getting high on the taste of her lips… Her hands, I can feel them roaming, feeling, caressing my back. I'm trailing kisses, moving downward, I bite her just above her collarbone, and she replies with a throaty moan, her finger are in my hair, stroking, clutching, and pulling, 'God! You drive me crazy…'  
I can't wait any longer, the clothes disappear… we're pressed up against each other, it feels amazing… I can feel the heat emanating from between her legs, this is probably the first time in my life that I've felt genuine hunger… THIS is what it's all about wanting a person so much… that you could devour them.  
I'd take her, all of her, totally utterly ravage her, make her beg, make her scream…  
She's just SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL… I grind myself against her; show her exactly how much I want her… 'Feel that… it's all for you beautiful girl…'  
I place myself against her entrance… I can feel her slick heat on the tip of my cock and it takes every bit of the strength that I possess to not slam into her hot wet tightness, I have to take it slow, savor the moment…  
I'm deep inside my beautiful Bella and she is squirming and gasping and writhing underneath me, I feel her nails digging into my back and that only adds to the pleasure… I'm moving at a slow pace because I'm afraid that I'll lose control and the moment will end, yes, there's the climax and it feels fantastic, but this is the moment that causes warmth in my body, being so close to her, looking into her eyes, there's the rest of the world out there but right now, at this moment you're only mine…  
I rest my forehead against hers and she lets out a breathy sigh…  
I look up to her eyes again because they are beautiful and make me feel happy.  
That's when she whispers 'I love you…'_

And that my children is how you wake up drenched in sweat, humping a pillow and realize that you just jizzed your pants to a FUCKING DREAM.

I am twenty four years old and I just had a wet dream… could I be more pathetic, oh wait! In an hour I'm gonna help the object of my humiliating lust to move in with me… so yes, I can in fact be more pathetic.

_So we're not gonna' discuss the L word? Nope… okay!_

I can't believe I'm actually going to do this to myself… must discuss masochistic tendencies with the next time I see him, I had however missed our last session, partly because I don't want to be the kind of loser the highlight of whose Saturday is exploring the depths of his questionable mental health and partly because Doctor Who was on… yep.

It was Sunday, and I, along with the rest of the gang was going to help Bella move into the house with me. God help us everyone…

I showered, jacked off (because why not), dressed in jeans and a green button down, poured myself some cereal, and started munching away on the most important meal of the day, when my phone started buzzing.  
Its Rosalie… perfect.

"Hello Rosalie!" I greeted because I'm a gentleman.

'_Go fuck yourself, douche.'_ She said because she's a bitch and because it's way too early in the morning for her to be even remotely civil.

"What's going on between you and Bella?" I asked because… maybe she'll tell me.

'_I already told you to go fuck yourself, didn't I?'_ Or maybe she won't.

"You know, you don't have to be so rude, you're the one who called me!" I retorted.

'_Stop talking because I hate the sound of your voice, I'm calling to tell you that we're here, now get down!'_ You could've just led with that…

XXX

Bella was staying at one of those apartment hotels, where you can rent an apartment for a shorter period of time, it was a pretty decent building, had a doorman and all.

As Alice had been here quite some time the doorman let us pass and we took the elevator to the fifth floor where Bella's place was.

We made our way to no. 502 and Alice rang the bell… there was no response… She rang it again and again and again and again and then finally we heard something from the other side of the door.

"STOP FUCKING RINGING THE GODDAMNED FUCKING BELL YOU FUCKING FUCKTARD I'M FUCKING COMING!"

I can honestly say that the only thing that registered in my mind was the fact that I had just heard Bella Swan yell, "I'm fucking coming…"

The door was wrenched open from the inside and there stood Bella in all her sleep mussed glory, she was wearing a much worn 'Greenday' t-shirt and boxers… no bra. Her beautiful chestnut hair were falling down her shoulder in wild untamed waves… this is what she'd look like after a night of rolling around in the bed…sweet baby Jesus have mercy.

She looked mixed parts disgusted and pissed and like she was about to cry… I, in return, wanted to hug her… and then fondle her tits… I have no shame…

"What. Do. You. Want?" She asked, looking at us as if trying to decide who to stab first… mark me down as scared and horny… yep.

"We're here to help you move Bella!" Alice chirped, that girl had a death wish, I swear.

"It's 9 in the morning… on a Sunday…" Bella stalked forward, her eyes looked a little bleary but that didn't hide the murderous rage in them EVERYBODY RUN! THE KRAKEN HAS BEEN RELEASED, Alice backed away with every step that Bella took in her direction and Rosalie seemed to be enjoying the situation entirely way too much.

Alice was now backed in a corner and Bella had both her hands on Alice's shoulder, that's when she began shaking her.

"You-did-not-just-wake-me-up-at-9-O-clock-in-the-morning-on-a-Sunday!" She grinded out from between her teeth.

Jasper looked confused; He wanted to burst out laughing and was also mildly concerned about his woman's safety.

Emmet of course was straight out laughing…

"But-Bella I thought we discussed this, you're the one who told me that you were free to move this Sunday…" Alice stuttered.

"Alice… I'm only going to say this once, so put your fucking ears on, there are only two acceptable reasons to wake me up this early in the morning on a mother fucking Sunday, I'm gonna' list them for you" Bella had now released Alice from her clutches but she was still glaring at her, "Reason one- Jesus Christ's second coming and Reason two- if you are being anally raped by a tentacle monster… that's it" Emmet was now howling with laughter, Rosalie had a vindictive smirk on her face and Jasper looked constipated from holding in his laughter.

I on the other hand was actually seriously making note because this woman will be living with me and I personally felt that she was more dangerous than a grizzly if woken from slumber prematurely.

"I told you its way too early in the morning for this shit…" said Rose as she went in to the apartment.

Bella shot one last glare towards Alice and then followed Rosalie inside; the apartment didn't really have much to say for itself it was a small studio with a rather large bed, one which Rosalie was sprawled on in the most indecent manner if you ask me… and then Bella climbed into the bed too and nudged Rosalie to the side and _please don't think indecent thoughts about the two of them together in bed… please no.._

GASP

"Bella is BI!" I didn't realize that I had yelled that out loud and now everyone in the room was staring at me…

"Dude I realize that it's exciting but don't yell about it!" Bella said with an incredulous look on her face…

I shook my head and then turned to Emmet who was looking at me like I was going crazy (it's a little late for that at this point) and Jasper who had his eyebrows raised. This was not the right time or place…

"Right… sorry. I just get excited sometimes and strangely attracted to Robert Downey Jr. so Bella, tell me more about your sexual preference and how you discovered yourself…" I realize now that this may not have been the best of cover-ups but hey, it did the job…

"It's way too early in the morning for this Edward" Bella groaned.

"Yeah dude, and everyone is attracted to RDJ, there's nothing you can do about it…" stated Emmet matter-of-factly, and now everyone was staring at him but then we realized what he was saying is actually very true…

"Right!" Alice broke the silence of the room and moved to open the curtains to let in some daylight into the room. "I believe you're packed and ready to go?" she asked Bella, who was currently trying to bury her head under the pillows.

"Everything that I need is in a bag in the closet." She said, head still buried under the pillows, motioning towards the door in the corner.

Jasper went in to retrieve the bag while Alice tried, unsuccessfully I might add, to get the girls out of the bed; Emmet had given in to temptation and jumped on the bed too…

"Get off me you fucking boulder!" Rosalie cried out…

"That's what she said!" I told Jasper who was carrying a bag which was much smaller that I had imagined it to be.

"Goodness Emmet! Are you trying to puncture my uterus?! GEDDOF!" Bella screamed and Emmet finally jumped off them.

"Bella, I have purses bigger than that bag…" Rosalie said, eyeing the bag that Jasper was carrying.

"Yeah… new home new stuff…" Bella mumbled rubbing her eyes and reluctantly sliding off the bed, she put on a hoodie, zipped it up.

"You mean you were too lazy to pack and ship anything…"

"Eh… 'Tomayto-tomahto'"

"You know what this means though…" Alice looked like she was going to burst "Shopping!"

"If you squeal… I'll cut you." Bella shot Alice a warning look "Right… Let's go people!"

"Wait," I looked at Bella trying to remind her that she was dressed in boxers "aren't you going to change?"

Bella looked at me as if I had suddenly started talking in mandarin but then a look of realization crossed her face, "Oh…" She tapped her forehead and chuckled "I forget that you don't know me sometimes… Yeah, Edward I don't make an effort if I'm not getting laid." She said shrugging and effectively telling me to go fuck myself, if not in so many words.

Bella but on a pair of shoes and we all made our way out of the apartment, Me and Bella were the last to get inside Emmet's Range Rover, She was sitting beside me in the back seat and I was hyper aware of her body… her leg pressed up against mine and I could feel the heat of her body through the fabric of her jeans.

I didn't understand what she was doing at first when she brought up her hand and tugged at my shirt collar gently, but then she motioned for me to lean in with her fingers, I did as she asked.

"I know you think that you know what's going on between me and Rose… you think you're right but you're not… just leave it alone Edward please." She looked at me expectantly and, me being me…I didn't quite know what to do so I just gave her a little nod.

_She makes my name sound so sexy! Did you listen to her all breathy…?_

I'm so fucking pathetic…

AN- I might have gone a bit crazy with the length of this chapter... I'm not even sorry.  
We had a little taste of lime, Rose and Bella are not morning people are they? But then again, who is? We had a little RDJ cameo… We get to know more about Bella (She's a shameless one) and then poor Edward gets an ultimatum.

Be kind and leave me a review xx 


	9. Chapter 9

**AN- IMPORTANT! This chapter is basically one big Edward rant in therapy so consider yourself warned.  
Thank you for all the lovely reviews and favorites, you people deserve an Edward of your own.  
Sorry for a late update but I'm starting to think that this will have to become a once in a week thing because RL is becoming a pain.  
Happy thanksgiving to all my american readers!  
Onward with Edward? Yes!**

Chapter-9 I Have a Friend

"How have you been Edward?" asked me, it seemed like he was not going to bring up the fact that I hadn't been in for my sessions in almost three weeks, a detail that I was immensely grateful of.

"I've been good Doc… started working, started working out again, it's been pleasant…" And it had been, I almost felt lighter, warmer, despite the fact that August had dissolved into September and it was starting to get nippy (really fucking cold). Everything felt better (except for the cold).

"Well you certainly look better than you did the last time you were here" He nodded looking at the notepad that he had in his hands and flipping through a few pages and then he looked up back at me, dead in the eye, the unibrow raised, "Three weeks ago…"

There it is.

"Er… yeah, well you know, I was keeping busy." I offered, in the lamest fashion ever.

"Did you relapse Edward?" he asked with his lips pursed.

"No! I did not! Why would you think that?!" _well you know… you didn't show up in three weeks and now you've been 'pleasant', what would you think?_

"That's good Edward but last time, we talked about this 'Bella' and you said you found her very attractive and then you didn't show up… so." shrugged as if it was the most plausible assumption "But what's important here is the fact that you didn't relapse and you feel good! That's fantastic; tell me what I've missed." He leaned back in this winged armchair and motioned for me to speak.

"Well… it didn't start out in the best possible way but now that I think about it, I wouldn't change it… you know all about how I hate typing and almost always lose my line of thought and that can be very counterproductive for a person who writes for a living, so I asked my publisher, Alice, to find me a ghost writer, That's Bella…

"I was sort of apprehensive about spending that much time in such close proximity of a female... Because I was weak doc, in fact I'm pretty sure I still am... And then Bella came in and... God, it was like she was the embodiment of my wet dreams, you know all this, we've talked about this… But then I got distractions you know, and I started thinking about her as a person, her sense of humor and the fact that she has a depth to her and there's something going on with her and Rose and I don't really know what that's all about, I mean, I thought I did but then she told me to back off, and my! You want to listen to what that woman says because she's got a temper on her... And now that I think about it... It's none of my business you know... Because I've decided to... I dunno' think different, I mean at first I was like 'must have sex with Bella!' but then we talked a bit and she even sent me chicken nuggets... That's the first time anyone's done that for me, so what I'm trying to say here is that, I've stopped thinking about her as someone that I just wanna have sex with... Because frankly, for a minute there, I was telling myself 'how in the world will I ever compete with Rosalie', I mean I know I'm good looking but Rosalie is like 'supermodel without the dead eyes'...if you know what I mean" I had gotten away with myself a little bit, but it felt good to talk about all this...  
however looked like he had just seen 'inception' for the first time and confusion is not a good look on the Doc with the unibrow all scrunched up. Goodness.

"I can't really claim to know what you mean Edward... No" he winced.

"Oh well, you know the whole Bella and Rose thing really is a topic for another time, I really don't know about it enough to talk about it... some other time..." I waved it off, because I have something a lot more important to talk about.

"So when I had decided that I was going to man-up about the fact that Bella was going to work with me, I mean don't get me wrong... I have never quite jacked off so much in my life, not even during school when it seemed that everyone around me had suddenly sprouted boobs, so yeah, basically my lotion expenditure has increased exponentially..." over sharing? Too much information? Does the Doc look a little uncomfortable?

"Back to the point, everyone in my family knew about my... 'Problem' and they aren't really big on secret keeping... Like seriously those women have mouth's bigger than Celine Dion's. Ha ha ha…" was un-amused.

"Celine fan? Did I offend you?" Talking of big mouths… _why do you have to crack these stupid jokes Cullen…_

"Just keep talking Edward" He said dryly. _Yup... Definitely a Celine fan._

"Aaaanyways... And I mean I try not to make a big deal about myself... But I didn't exactly get the kind of response that I was looking for... From them. You know... I mean Rose and Em have started calling me 'nympho' and I mean yeah... I suppose, if you have that sorta' sense of humor, sexual addiction is funny... 'Ha-ha look at that loser, he's too horny to function!'" I stopped to take a breath...

Dr. Banner grimaced "That doesn't sound very funny to me Edward."

"That's because it isn't…! When I was in middle school, there was this boy in my class who one day, out of nowhere, thought to himself that he didn't quite like my surname, so he decided to make it funnier by changing it from Cullen to Sullen… So obviously, almost everyone in school would call me Edward Sullen. At first, I took it with a grain of salt and didn't do anything about it… But it is sort of heartbreaking when the one girl that you secretly have a crush on, is laughing at you and calling you 'Edward Sullen' with the rest of the meanies… _Penny Brown was a monster_. I took myself and my broken, tormented heart to my parents and they told me that 'the next time anyone laugh's at you… start laughing with them, that way, they're not laughing **at** you anymore but laughing **with** you.' That all sounded very poetic and cool but the thing is that my parents never told me what to do when I don't really find the situation funny…  
And this isn't funny... I got help not because I was suddenly bored of sex, I was genuinely afraid of my well being... It was this one morning right, I got drunk the night before and was hung over, waking up in the morning in some strangers bed, I had absolutely no idea about where I was, I couldn't find my keys, I couldn't remember anything, I didn't know how to get back home... The worst part was that I couldn't remember if I had used protection the night before or not... I mean you see those public service adverts and you think to yourself, 'who does that?' 'Who would be stupid enough to endanger their life like that?' STD's aren't a laughing matter, those diseases can kill." I didn't exactly want to cry right now, but thinking about that day was bringing back the memory of being that scared about what I might've had done and the consequences I would have to suffer  
"So, yeah... I was scared and that's why I got help, I mean could tell all of this to my family, I mean they aren't heartless enough to keep making fun of me like that after knowing the whole story... But yeah I suppose, up until this point I was trying to keep laughing _with_ them..."

"So what changed then Edward?" As I said, he might just be the ugliest man ever, but he has a very soothing voice, Dr. Banner handed me the box of tissues.

And as I thought about my answer, it brought a smile to my face…

"Emmet told Bella… and in his defense I'm pretty sure that he was just trying to lighten the mood, because you know, we had just picked Bella from this place where she was staying at and we decided to get some proper breakfast… and Bella and Rose were fine but then someone said something and it suddenly got intense and Emmet, being the idiot that he is, just blurted it out… and he made some stupid joke and might've called me the family 'perv' or something like that and the whole while I was holding my breath because I didn't know how Bella would react… there was a small part of me that was afraid that she would burst out laughing with Emmet or be disgusted and not want to work with me anymore… but she didn't…"

The doctor was now leaning forward and looked very keen

"What did she do then?" He asked

"Well… she just gave Emmet this look, and told him that this isn't funny and then she asked me whether I was getting help and told me that she had had trouble with over-eating and had gotten help with it and told me that once you get help and follow the program and just come to grips with your own situation… it gets better… direct quote" I smiled up at Dr. Banner…

"I must say Edward; I like the sound of this girl…" He told me, while scribbling something in those notes of his.

"I do too Doc and that's not even the best part… everyone looked so ashamed at themselves and they even looked apologetic, and when we were getting out of the joint, Bella just comes up to me, drapes an arm over my shoulder and tells me that she's got my back… and you know what… I believe her…" I was smiling so much now that my face had started hurting…

"We've been living together for almost 2 weeks now and it has been good… we talk, we've been working, and she made me breakfast the other day… pancakes... it was awesome!

So, summarizing… I now know what to do when the situation isn't funny… You tell them… And Bella Swan is my friend, who has got my back and she's awesome"

I sighed… it really has been… pleasant.

"I'm very happy for you Edward," said with a smile on his face "and I really hope that you are present for our next session." He added pointedly, and just like that, I was dismissed.

XXX

As I was making my way home, I thought about the last two weeks… I was so sure that the moment Bella found out, she would run for the hills… well to be honest Bella Swan isn't really the kind of person to run… but yeah, I did think that she'd maintain a safe distance. What I most certainly didn't expect was, that she'd stand up against her friends for me, I mean, I do realize the fact that Emmet was being an insensitive jerk, but she's good friends with him and I just met her, but she was good to me… I don't think anyone but my parents and sometimes Esme and Carlisle have done something like that for me. It felt weird… weird good.

This was also first time in life that I had a female roommate… and I wasn't even sleeping with her.  
_Yeah… imagine that… no sex... surreal!_ Seriously, no need to be a dick about this.  
It was certainly a one of a kind experience, I liked it… I liked having a friend. I thought to myself before turning the key and letting myself into my house.

There she was, sitting cross legged on the couch furiously typing away at her Mac…

"Hey Bell- "Shut up! Shut up! Don't talk, don't move, don't think, don't breathe…"

I was very rudely interrupted by my _friend_.

"What's happening…?"

"Urgh! Edward shut up for a moment or else I will stab you in the neck!" she turned around to glare at me without even pausing to type.

"Have I ever told you that I absolutely love having you around?" I sighed as sat next to her on the couch.

Bella stopped typing, closed the lid of her computer and turned to look at me with a smile on her face "Death threats and all?" she asked.

"Death threats and all…" I nodded "What were you writing anyway?"

"None of your business" She said in a sing song voice "How was therapy?"

"None of your business" I retorted.

"Touché Cullen… Can we get KFC for dinner?" She said standing up.

"Absolutely not! I have chicken marinating."

"Oh my god! Dude, if I tell you what I was writing can we please stop pretending that you can cook?"

"Hey! I'm a great cook!"

"Oh please!" she scoffed "You put cumin in the hot chocolate the other day…"

"Okay, give me a break, it was one time and I get confused between cumin and cinnamon…" I shot at her. "So… what were you writing?"

"Erotica, there… go ahead and imagine all those nasty things that you want to imagine… Now, KFC?"

"No! I don't even like KFC!"

"Seriously? What kind of a soulless monster doesn't like KFC?! That's like not liking puppies… or cake… or Ellen DeGeneres."

"Bella I'm pretty sure Vegetarian people don't care for KFC…"

"Yeah? Well they don't count!"

"Why the hell not?"

"Because who cares about vegetarians?!"

As I said… _Pleasant._

**AN- Like really Edward… who doesn't like KFC? Oh and no offence to vegetarian people, just trying to be funny here. Aren't they cute though…?  
Thoughts? On Edward, Bella, the gang, the doctor.  
Be kind and leave me a review…  
xx**


	10. Chapter 10

AN- Sorry for the late update, while the rest of you guys are probably having awesome vacations and stuff I'm preparing for school home examinations and competitive examinations, so I've been swamped…  
Disclaimer- not mine, don't sue.  
And now, onward with Edward!

Chapter-10 The Birthday

Bella Swan absolutely loves birthdays. Apparently the thirteenth of September is the most important date in the history of the most important dates; it's the birthday of the Queen…

No, not the British one, Bella! Bella is the Queen.

According to Jasper, Alice was seconds away from having a coronary because Bella didn't like birthday _parties,_ as much as she likes the birthdays, that makes things a little complicated because Alice can handle parties, she could handle parades for that matter but come to think of it… trying to make a birthday special without throwing a huge glitter fest takes some finesse… which, personally speaking, is what dear Alice just… cant… do.

I personally can't wait to see what the little pixie comes up with, it should be any minute now, it's almost midnight.

**BANG**

**BANG **

**BANG**

What kind of barbaric asshole knocks like that? _It's most probably my family…_ I thought to myself as I made my way towards the door through the sitting room to the hallway.

I opened the door and there was this hulk sized man standing there, he was almost bigger than Emmet, he had this russet skin, dark brown eyes and closely cropped black hair.

I was about to ask who was he but he was very blatantly looking me over and then he raises an eyebrow and says in the most condescending manner, "And who the hell are you supposed to be?" in a rather deep voice.

"Did you just ask me that…? This is my house!" The nerve of some people…

"_Jake you're here!" _ Oh look! Bella is awake! I did a double take when I realized what she was wearing.

_Dear Lord Almighty… Bella Swan is wearing lingerie… and she's hugging the giant! Why the hell is she hugging the giant!? _

Well I say hugged, more like climbed all over him… my ego was bruised

It was a babydoll which fell mid thigh, red colored in the bust region and the rest was black and see through, I could see her red lace boyshorts... I barely suppressed a moan at the sight of her thighs… wrapped around that moronic giant's waist... Urgh!

"Baby I know you got lonely after our break up but… are you seriously sleeping with 'Ginger Mcpouty' over there?" The man, Jake, asked Bella and they both turned to look at me.

_He's the ex-boyfriend?! Wow… I already had no chance of competing against Rose and now this dude looks like he could be in an Old Spice commercial. I should just become a monk and join a monastery._

Bella smirked and then very discreetly winked at me, got away from Jake the giant, draped an arm over my shoulders and said "Say what you want Jacob, Edward is a monster in bed…"

Oh God... Did she just say that? _GASP! _ She's using me to get back at her boyfriend! Why the fuck is her boyfriend here anyway?!

"OMG! You people are actually sleeping together?" The giant's eyes almost popped out of his eyes... If I weren't contemplating battle strategies of taking him on, I'd actually find his expression very comical.  
"No... Edward's my boss actually." Bella told him.  
"OMG! You're sleeping with your boss!" This guy says 'OMG' a lot...  
"Jake, I'm not sleeping with him, I work for him." She clarified.  
"So he's paying you to sleep with him?!" He gasped... _Jesus_.  
"Goodness! Why do people always assume that I need to pay to get laid" I burst out.  
"Well at least people aren't calling you a hooker!" Bella shot back, she looked scandalized.  
"Oh please... No one in their right mind would mistake you for a hooker..." I retorted, that sounded better in my head.  
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Bella seemed outraged... CODE RED! ABORT! RETRACT!  
"Nothing, it means nothing! Happy birthday!" I sputtered as Bella stormed into the house. I was obviously following her like a puppy, with 'Jake the giant' hot on my heels.  
"Oh yeah! Happy Fucking Birthday Bella! You're not even pretty enough to be a hooker! Thanks Edward! Aren't you just a fucking peach! What next? Are you gonna tell me that I'm too fat to be a stripper?! Huh? Because I already know that!" Oh dear god... What have I done?  
"Well to be totally honest... You really don't have the legs for being on the pole." The giant piped in. I think he's suicidal.  
But surprisingly enough, Bella was now laughing... What the hell is going on?  
"Yeah well I have awesome boobs... So you can go ahead and fuck yourself" she told him, matter of factly.  
"What is happening!?" I think I may have yelled, both of them were staring at me like it...  
"I'm sorry Edward... Aging and PMS is not a good combination..." She grimaced.  
Oh... Lady problems... Perspective! Thank god!

"Goodness bitch, dramatic much! You just turned 23, that's way too early for you to have a mid-life crisis." The giant scoffed.

"Hey! You don't know the life I've lived… 23 is not 20… I don't ever feel like doing anything and I am fat!" said Bella, in possibly the most dramatic manner.

"Yeah… No baby you're just lazy… and you've always been fat." Jake patted her arm as if to console her.

Bella glumly nodded her head and in a mad second of insanity, I blurted out, "I think you're perfect!"

I should probably be very embarrassed of the weird look that the giant was giving me, but I got distracted by the fact that Bella Swan had stumbled into my arms and was pressing a kiss on my cheek, while the kiss was super sweet and stuff… I was sort of freaking out about the fact that her large, soft yet firm breast were pressing up against my chest…

Whoever came up with the concept of hugging was the 'friend-zoned dude's' hero.

"You're a good man Edward Cullen; you do not deserve the blue balls you're currently suffering from." She smiled up at me… and I was horrified! She knew! Did she? What the hell!

"You know, with the abstinence and all?" She elaborated, probably because of the expression on my face.

"Oh… Yeah… -" my phone was buzzing in my back pocket.

'_We're downstairs! Prep the birthday girl ~Alice'_

"Well it seems like Alice and the rest of the mad tea party has arrived for your birthday shindig." I told Bella.

"Yeah, you might wanna' let go of the ginger now…" The giant called out reminding both me and Bella of the fact that we were still holding each other.

"I'm sorry, but who are you again?" Because you are starting to piss me off and you took an almost naked Bella away from me.

"I'm sorry Edward, introductions are in order! This is Jacob Black; Jacob here was with me in college, that's where I discovered that his dad and my dad are actually best friends and we grew up in the same geographic region… He's a brilliant artist! He's working on some concept art for a graphic novel thingy that we're doing together." Oh great… you look like that and you're an artist… screw you dude, I thought as I returned the smile that he was giving me.

"Hey guys do you think I should change?" Bella asked

I wanted to shout out 'NO' but I reigned myself in as Jacob asked her, "Do you want to?"

"Not really…" She shrugged.

"Well then don't!" Jacob said as the doorbell rang and in came the merry band of buffoons who are also my family.

It seemed like the dress code for this fiesta was night clothes with what seemed like Hogwarts robes on top… Bella suddenly looked so excited, I was afraid that she might start bouncing… _bouncing tits._ PERVERT.

Everyone wished Bella a very happy birthday; the highlight was probably Emmet making a comment about Bella's behind and trying to grope it, only to be smacked up the head by Rosalie and Bella at the same time… Serves him right, trying to touch what's mine. Grr. _Are you seriously not even trying to hide the fact that you have a crush on this woman? _I could, but then what's the point.

Bella introduced Jacob the giant to the rest of the group and then we were all asked to take our seats in the Den, which has the home theatre system.

"It was hard!" Alice began, to which Bella and Emmet automatically said "That's what she said!"

"Thank you for that, what would I do without you…" She said, with a dry expression, "Anyways, it was hard but I have found the perfect way to celebrate the best way to celebrate Bella Swan's birthday! It consists of Booze," She said pointing towards a box that Jasper had carried into the room, "It has lots of Ice cream," She pointed towards the carton of Ben & Jerry's on the bar, "And we have a Harry Potter movie marathon!" She squealed and pointed at Rose who was holding several DVDs.

Bella joined in on the squealing and Jacob asked, "Did you people rehearse this routine?"

Everyone settled down, Bella went into her room and came back in her own Hogwarts 'Slytherin' robes sat with me on the love seat… _do not read too much into it! _But why not, I mean she could have sat with her ex! _Yeah genius? And where the hell is she supposed to sit, the giant is sitting on a bean bag! _SHE LIKES ME!_ Ok buddy, whatever makes you feel good about yourself._

"So let me guess, you're one of those creepy people who read fan-fiction about how Hermione saves Snape from dying and then they have lots of sex together?" I whispered to her.

"I'm offended Edward, I mean just because I'm a Slytherin, I'm automatically a creep?" She shook her head at me

"Are you denying it the?"

"I don't only read Sevmione fanfic, I write it too…" She replied.

"I knew it!"

"How did you guess?"

"Well… you know, slytherins are creepy and evil people." I shrugged

"Excuse me mudblood," she scoffed "but slytherins aren't evil, they're just better than you!"

I laughed, she was so passionate about this… beautiful, funny, intelligent and a potterhead, I do not deserve this woman.

XXXX

Somewhere in the middle of 'Order of the Phoenix' and after entirely way too much Ice-cream, the party decided to disperse.

Alice told Bella that Esme and Carlisle wanted her over for lunch sometime during the weekend, promises and plans were made for the next week. Rosalie took Bella to the side and they started talking in hushed tones… until the Giant went up to them and Rosalie walked away after that.

The Giant took Bella in for another hug, whispered something in her ear, to which she squealed and hugged him tighter and then that bastard looked at me, over Bella's shoulder and winked at me… _He winked at me!_

Many a 'goodnights' and 'see you soon' were exchanged and then I and Bella were alone in the house once again… She grabbed a beer and sat down to continue the movie… and as I had nothing better to do… I sat with her again.

"So, are you gonna' get back together with him?" I asked her, my heart felt heavy when I thought about it.

"What are you talking about?" Bella asked, confused.

"Jake the giant!" I blurted out… _crap._

Bella looked at me intently as if checking whether I was joking and then she burst out laughing, "Get back together with Jake?!" Giggle "You seriously thought we dated?" Chuckle "Edward! Jake is gay!" Snort.

_Well, I did think that he said OMG a lot…_

"Really?" I asked, I sounded way too hopeful…

"Yes!"

"Oh… okay then" I mumbled.

After that somewhat awkward exchange… we turned back to the movie.

_Her kisses tasted like chocolate Ice cream. She was pressed up against me and my hands had found home on her delectable ass, I had no reservations… she's mine, I'll take her. She MUST want me back, look at the way she's grinding herself against my hip… my fingers slid up the hem of her nightie… "You're so soft baby…" I need to kiss all of her, she is so fucking beautiful and she keeps biting her lips that way._

_Need_

_I need this too much to be gentle with her… I turn her around roughly, shove my hands into the front of her panties, but I need to know, before I touch her… "You want me right, please say yes…" I'm not above begging at this point._

"_Yesss…" Heaven, she's heaven. So wet, so warm, all mine._

_I place two fingers on her clit and rub her sensitive flesh until she's moaning my name and begging me for more…_

_I pull her panties off and push her nightie up till her waist, as sexy as she looks in these pretty little things, they seem almost obnoxious as they get in the way of what I really want. And there it is, her pretty pussy… I can see that she really wants me because it's glistening with wetness…_

_I press open mouthed kisses on her neck, dig my fingers to her hips… I don't wanna' hurt her but I need to feel her…_

_I can feel the heat from her center on my cock, I need to be inside of her, but I want to prolong this… savor the moment because I know that that the moment I enter her, I won't be able to control myself, I was rubbing the head of my cock up and down her slit and the heat was amazing… _

"_Don't tease me Edward!"_

_How the hell am I supposed to deny her? So I ram inside her tight, wet, and hot cunt… and it was blissful._

_I move like a mad man because I can't get enough her, I want to feel every inch of her… feel the way she moves, she's so fucking responses, always thought Bella would be a screamer, but she's driving me crazy with her little whimpers and breathy moans, and then she fucking moans my name and GOODNESS FUCK that feels good, I can hear our skin slapping as we move together._

_I reach up to pull the straps off her shoulders and fondle her tits… they're perfect, they're so amazingly soft and just the perfect size, I couldn't stop myself from pinching her nipples and making her moan for me again… _

_I need to make her come, so I start rubbing her clit with my right hand and kept the other one on her breast, all while driving into her glorious pussy from the behind and I was so fucking close..._

"_Edward…" I know baby… I'm so close…_

"_Edward!" So fucking close…_

"EDWARD!" and just like that I came in her… wait… what's happening…

"EDWARD! WAKE! UP! RIGHT! NOW!" This cannot be happening … this did not just happen! Please God! Anything but this… please just let me die right now…

"Edward?" could I just keep pretending that I'm asleep for the rest of my life? Please…

I cracked open an eye and the scene was as pathetic as one could expect it to be… I had humped Bella Swans leg to the point where I had jizzed my pants and there was a puddle of my drool on the fabric covering her breast… and she was looking at me with this look in her eyes that made me want to just instantly disappear… I mean she didn't even look disgusted; it was a look of pity…

"Bella… I'm so sorry!" Please God… why does it always have to be me… why?! "You have to understand… I didn't mean to do that… I must have dozed off; I'm just so fucking sorry!"

"Yeah… Don't- don't mention it… I mean, hey! You haven't lived if you haven't dozed off and dry humped someone, right?" Oh man… she's trying to make it better for me. Why can't I just die…?

"I think I'm gonna go… sleep, turn in for the night… go to my chambers…" Even Bella was getting awkward now… and I couldn't really do anything but hang my head in shame and mumble for her to go ahead….

"Edward!" Oh no… is this where she tells me that I'm a creep and she wants to move out… Damn Alice will kill me…

_Yes, because Alice is the only reason why you don't want this girl to leave, I believe you… __**totally.**_

"Don't be a dick about this… things like this happen and don't fucking make it more weird than it has to be, tomorrow's- today! Is my birthday, so don't go all mopey and emo and spoil my day! Understand?" Goodness… she's fierce.

"I understand!" I said and then she nodded at me… and made her way towards her bedroom determinedly… as I was left staring open mouthed after her… with jizz in my pants.

_Do you think you spoke her name out loud in sleep? Does she know that you were having a wet dream about her?_

PLEASE GOD JUST LET ME DIE!

AN- So yeah… that's that! Be kind and leave me a review and I'll try to update on time next week! Happy holidays and stuff, love  
~Rosalice


	11. Chapter 11

AN- I know it's been long but I was busy with Christmas and then New Years and then my dog decided to have her puppies and goodness there is wet dog smell everywhere. Anyways, Happy 2014 people, I hope you people get all the happiness in the world because god knows you deserve it for putting up with aspiring authors who don't know shit about writing and are temperamental and almost always late… I mean me.  
So yeah… please read and review because that is literally the only thing that brings me happiness nowadays.  
Onwards with Edward then!

Chapter-11 Now You Know

I sometimes feel like my life is a sitcom… where every situation is funny for others but painfully humiliating for me, so, previously on The Sucky Life of Edward fucking Cullen, I fell asleep on the couch and then humped Bella Swan's leg like a horny dog.

Yes my dignity is now officially dead, rest in peace dignity.

I didn't actually want to get out of my bed but my bladder was bursting and I really don't want to add 'bed-wetter' to my ever growing list of humiliations, so I get out of my bed and take a leak, and groan out loud as I hear the door bell ring. Perhaps I could pretend that I'm still asleep… _and then what douche-wad? Gonna spend the rest of your life inside your bedroom? I mean I know about your snickers stash under the bed but that won't last forever._

It's 8 am anyway, there's no way that Bella is awake yet, I could just go to the gym and then go somewhere else and just roam around for a bit…_ oh yeah… then maybe you could change your name to Alejandro and move to Mexico!_

Dude, I've been ignoring you for a while now, but you're kind of mean for an inner voice…

_I was born this way!_

Oh great! My conscience is a snarky gay dude…

Might as well go out and open that damned door…

Ah! Speaking of snarky gay dudes…

"Jacob!" I let him inside the door…

"Ginger!" he said, strutting down to the kitchen.

"Don't call me that!" I warned him as I followed him into MY kitchen

"Dye your hair then!" he replied… DO NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO IN MY OWN HOUSE YOU… ASS!

"What do you want?" I grind out, through the fakest smile ever.

"The same thing you do!" He grins back.

"And what is that?" This'll be good.

"Be-lla" He says, in a sing song voice. Okay, not that good.

"I don't know what you're talking about…" _That was literally the opposite of convincing…_

"Oh no… don't try to pull that with me, I saw the way you look at her, that was some weird ass mushy-lusty looks you were shooting at her, you almost passed out when she hugged you and then you looked positively giddy when she sat next to you in the den…" He waggled his eyebrows at me.

"Dude, that is so creepy, were you just staring at me the whole night?!" I mean to be fair to him, I am very attractive.

"Okay ginger, cool down, I wasn't staring at you. But I was looking out for Bella. She's important to me, and I can see that you wanna' lay your moves on her. I'm not gonna' be here long because as soon as this weekend is done, I'm flying back to London. So let me just tell you this now, if you hurt her… I will shove an umbrella up your ass and then open it, while it's still in your ass." Ouch.

"You don't have anything to worry about, I'm not-"

"Jake!" Oh great Bella is here… Why can't I ever be dead when I want to be dead…?

"Good Morning sweetums!" Jacob was now ignoring me like he wasn't just threatening me with violent rectal trauma just seconds ago.

"You do realize that you look like a dick whenever you do the whole cutesy thing…" She grimaced; she hadn't looked at me yet… is she mad at me? She wasn't yesterday… but she could have changed her mind, maybe she's disgusted by me now, what if she wants to move out? I don't want her to leave… I mean, Alice will kill me! _Pathetic. _

But my worries were put to rest when she came up to stand beside me and then nudged me softly with her shoulders.

Its fine… she's fine. She'll stay! _Doesn't make you any less pathetic._

"I'm trying to be more domestic… Felix keeps saying that he wants to adopt." Jacob shrugged.

"Oh my god! That's awesome Jake; I didn't know that you and Felix were getting that serious!" Yes… let's delve into this minor character's back-story, it's not like we have anything else important to do.

"Okay… I don't even know how, but one moment it was all sex and the next moment we're making future plans, I mean he's living with me for god's sake!" Okay, he's talking like Graham Norton now, time for me to leave.

But just as I was leaving, Bella grabbed my elbow and pulled me back, "Where do you think you're going?" She asked.

"Er… nothing, I was just gonna go to the gym, workout a little, you know?" I mumbled.

"No, I don't know. You can't go right now, this is like the best part of my birthday, and you're staying!" I'm scared to leave now, she's fierce.

"Umm… what is?" I asked and she got this excited look on her face that made her eyes shine, she turned to Jacob and asked him, "You're gonna tell me all about you and Felix, later, but first tell me what did I get?" She was squealing by the end of the sentence.

"How about I just show you?" Jacob raised an eyebrow and then he did nothing… sort of anti-climactic if you ask me.

"SHOW ME!" Bella shouted.

"Well, you'll have to come downstairs with me if you want to see it! I can't bring it up here…" He smiled and she squealed again.

Bella then bee lined for her room and came back dressed in record time, she was wearing a royal blue V necked blouse with full sleeves, which made her tits look like sin and tight black jeans… Woman wants to murder me… Imagine that, death by bangin' body. What a fucking way to go.

But then I noticed that she was looking at me like I had just kicked a puppy, "Why aren't you changed yet?!" She asked, eyes wide and everything… goodness.

"I didn't know I was supposed to?" I shrugged.

"GO CHANGE!" I was on the move before she had finished speaking.

XXX

I hadn't even started buttoning up my shirt when an impatient Bella stormed into my room and dragged me out, we were riding down the elevator as I finished getting dressed, Bella had a 'mad scientist' look on her face, it seemed like the only thing missing was the rubbing together of the palms and an evil laugh.

"What exactly is happening here?" I asked.

"Around the time of Bella's birthday, both her fathers get into a pissing match about who gets her a better birthday present, you're about to witness the showing ceremony!" Jacob told me as the elevator dinged, indicating our arrival at the lobby.

"Both her fathers?"

"Oh yeah… my step dad, Phil and my actual dad, Charlie." Bella nodded and then motioned for Jacob to lead the way.

Outside the apartment building across the street was a brand new steel grey Range Rover sport.

"Oh My God! Tell me that's mine Jake!" Bella had grabbed my arm and her fingers were digging in to the flesh quite painfully. "Say it. Out loud. Say it."

"That's yours!" Jacob exclaimed gleefully, Bella screamed and grabbed the key that Jacob was dangling in front of her face and then ran towards her new car.

"So, which one gave her the car?" I asked Jacob while watching Bella tinker in her new car.

" Oh Charlie lost this round dude, seems like he was busy or something, he made a bank deposit of fifteen grand. This one is from Renee's very rich, very British and very young husband, Phil. He's loaded because he's like a big-shot cricket player, always wanted a daughter but never really wanted kids… you know what I mean?" He asked me.

And I obviously shook my head; I mean seriously what the hell does that mean?

"It's like, according to Phil, being a good dad means spending shit load amounts of money on the kid." He shrugged. Oh...

"HEY GUYS! LET'S GO FOR A DRIVE!" Bella called out.

Sounded like a plan, so I and Jacob headed towards the rather beautiful machine, and that asshole obviously pushed me back and then hurriedly got into the passenger seat, as If I wanted to sit near Bella. _So, you DON'T want to sit near Bella? _Of course I do, but I'm not over last night yet.

"Babe, as much I'd love to stay and ride this baby all over the town, I've got some important meetings tomorrow and I haven't prepared for shit, so, could you drop me at the hotel?" Jacob asked Bella… Great! It seems like awkwardness is on the menu for today after all.

Bella agreed to drop Jacob off at his hotel and we set off, after some general conversation about Jacob's love life, he said something that gathered my attention.

"You know… Dad said that Charlie was hoping that you'd visit him now that you're in the states." He said.

"Yeah and I was hoping that by now I'd be married to Robert Pattinson and have twin daughters but as you can see that's obviously not happening, so, you can tell your dad to tell Charlie that we don't always get what we hope for in life... Oh don't look at me like that man… I'm not being a thankless bitch or anything; I email Charlie… like once a month… and we're fine that way!"

"Bells if you guys were fine that way, then he won't be moping about it to my dad! I get it okay, parents can be rather ridiculous, I mean my father is a worthless piece of homophobic shit but I STILL VISIT HIM ON ALL THE HOLIDAYS!"

I could practically feel the atmosphere inside the car getting more and more tense. Bella was now gripping the steering wheel so tight that her knuckles had turned white.

"Drop it Jake… you don't know what you're talking about." She said in an eerily calm voice.

The giant took a hint and didn't say much for the rest of the journey, when we arrived at the hotel where he was staying at, they exchanged a few strained farewells and he shot me a look before strutting into the building.

"Ahem!" Bella was looking at me pointedly in the rear view mirror.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm not your bloody driver!" She said, pointing at the passenger seat. I obviously scurried out the back and got into the seat that Jacob the giant had just vacated.

Awkward silence…

"We've been jobless for some time now…" She said.

"Hmm… I suppose we could start writing again from Monday… this is your birthday weekend after all." I felt like an idiot, shooting furtive glances at her, trying to figure out exactly what was going on in that mind of hers.

"Cool…"

"Hmm…"

"So…" Uh oh, here it comes, "Do you want to talk about last night?" She asked, she was trying to sound casual.

"I really don't! I'm just so sorry that it happened, it was so inappropriate, and I apologize, sincerely. But I really don't want to talk about it." There was no pretending anymore, I was literally pleading.

"Okay…" She actually sounded a bit disappointed but didn't say anything else.

After some moments of silence Bella turned up the radio and we were momentarily distracted by the fact that Lady Gaga lives for the applause, when I had a moment of… curiosity.

"Can I ask you something? And it's totally okay if you don't want to answer me, just tell me to fuck off." I said.

"What is it?" she asked.

"What's the deal with you and your dad?"

"Aaaa-I… What indeed is the deal with me and my dad…" it was like she was testing how the words tasted in her mouth.

"Well, it's not just my dad really; I mean I'm not particularly close to either of my parents… Let's just say that, I dunno', things changed a little too much and I couldn't- I couldn't… cope.

"Okay, so, mom and I used to live together, and I used to visit Charlie for summers, but then mom started dating this guy and they were good together, so I thought I'd give them some space and I moved in with Charlie, figured I'll finish my schooling in forks… and then things were fine for a while, but then… ** I**… started changing, and I could barely cope with that when I had a traumatic experience, don't ask!" She shot me a look "And I was just recovering when Charlie got engaged to Sue Clearwater and then BAM! School was over and everyone was moving on and some people, who I genuinely cared about, just, didn't seem to care about me at all, so I moved to London. I figured I'll get some space and everything will be fine," She paused and pressed her lips together and exhaled loudly through her nose.

"But?" I urged her to continue…

"But, as I said earlier, you don't always get what you for in life, one semester in, and my harebrained, freshly broken mother was in London, and I was actually fucking happy about it, figured we'd go back to the way things were, because I LIKED the way things were, I didn't hold a grudge over the fact that I had divorced parents and a rather unorthodox childhood… I liked my life. But life didn't like me back Edward! Damn that sounded so awesome… write that down!"

"What happened?" I'm getting invested in this story.

"What happened? Renee happened! Phil Dwyer happened, I'm out there looking for an apartment for me and mom when she calls me up and she's "met someone" now you'd ask, why are you upset about that Bella? I mean hey! Mom's happy! Sure! You know what, who cares that I was looking forward to living with my mom, after so long… whatever, it's been like a month and they fucking get married, in Vegas, like what the actual fuck! She didn't even invite me to the wedding but who gives a shit, right? That's mom! I was fine!"

Everything she said sounded strained by the burden of trying to make it sound like she didn't care, but it was evident that she did… Her eyes which were now welling up made that clear.

"Were you?" I asked which made her glare at me… _that was a pretty dumb move man._

"Of course I wasn't" Something had changed… she didn't sound angry anymore, she sounded resigned. "This will make me sound like a total bitch but I kept thinking that she'd end it… but didn't she's been with him for like four years now… that longer than all of the relations she's ever been in put together… You Sue Clearwater, my dad's wife, she doesn't like me… I wanted her to, I asked her what I was doing wrong and you know what she said? She said that I was too much like my mother for her taste... I mean can you believe that, who does that?!"

I didn't have an answer for her… who could be so mean to her, she's perfect.

"Well… she sounds like a bitch." I said… and I want to punch her for hurting you.

"That's the thing Edward! She's not… you should see how she is with my dad, it's like she thinks he farts rainbows and something, and you should see how her kids are with me, it's like they think I'm like a goddess or something, I mean I'll show you some of the emails Leah and Seth have sent me, they make me seem like wonder-woman." Wait… what?

"I don't understand…" I really didn't, do we hate the step-monster or do we not?

"It's not that complicated, Sue had a problem with my attitude and she made that clear, otherwise, she seems perfect! She said I was too much like my mother; I didn't really have a problem with that, even though I'm not, I mean yeah I'm a free spirited independent woman, but I keep my commitments and I take responsibilities… I realize that everything in life is not fun and games… Whatever! But you know what the worst part is?! My mom's not like my mom anymore, she used to be this hippie person who genuinely didn't give a shit about the rest of the world. I mean for the sake of shit, she gave me a fucking vibrator for my 14th birthday! But now, she's married and living in Hertfordshire and playing Martha Stewart and having TEA-FUCKING-PARTIES!"

And I thought I had issues… _It's like you both were made for each other. _Oh hush!

I'm pretty sure I had a frown on my face when Bella looked away from the road at me, she chuckled, but it's didn't sound genuine.

"I know I sound crazy Edward… But you see, Jake doesn't get the fact that both my parents have built lives for themselves that don't include me… and I don't want to hurt myself trying to fit in a place where I don't belong…" she sighed.

Damn that just sucks… I've never seen her like this and it feels horrible seeing her upset… I want my laughing and joking Bella back.

_My Bella? _ YEAH FUCK YOU!

"Hey if it's any consolation… my parents are dead! So…" _Did you just fucking say that? What's wrong with you?!_

Bella's eyes widened and let out a low whistle "Okay… so you're horrible at emo talk." And then she started laughing… thank fuck!

"Hey! Don't laugh! I JUST TOLD YOU THAT MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!"

"And how is that any consolation for the fact that my parents are shit?! What the hell is wrong with you?!" She chuckled.

"Way too many things to keep count…" I smiled at her.

"Hey can I ask you something?"

"What's that?"

"Dude please believe me I'm not trying to be mean or anything, I'm just curious but who were you dreaming about last night?" She asked.

"Oh God No! Bella! I told you I don't wanna' talk about it… please doesn't!" I groaned.

"Edward please it's my birthday! Just tell me, I promise I won't make fun of you!" She was giving me the puppy dog eyes… Dammit all to hell.

_Just tell her some celebrities name and get it over with!_

" I…"

"Go on…"

"I was… dreaming about…. You."

_SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEECH….!_

AN- this was pretty heavy with Bella's back story, Edward is as awkward as ever and Jacob is almost leaving. The rest of the gang will be back in the next chapter…  
Until next time then!  
Lots of love! Do leave a review and DFTBA  
xx


	12. Chapter 12

AN- thanks for all the reviews and love, you people keep me young.  
I hope all my American readers are keeping warm…  
Onward with Edward then? Yes.

Chapter- 12 So Then That Happened

She didn't say anything…

There we were, in the middle of the road… just standing there; she had stopped the car and was now just looking at me with a peculiar expression on her face.

_Yeah you just told her that you had a hot and steamy about her while humping her leg… give the girl a break asshole!… Peculiar. _

"Are you joking?" She asked in a low voice.

"No I'm not…" I replied.

"Okay." She said and then she looked forward… still not driving…

A man in a pickup truck drove past us making a very rude gesture featuring his middle finger and then a lady in her Prius shouting at the top her voice "TAKE A MOVE ON ASSHOLE!" pulling Bella out of the trance that she seemed to be in. She moved suddenly, leaned out the window and yelled "HOW ABOUT YOU BE SILENT LIKE YOUR DICK CAR?!" and then she started driving again.

"Not a fan of hybrids?" I asked, feeling strangely light now…

_Oh strangely light are you… good! You should be after puking your inside out in front of this poor girl. _Seriously? Bite me!

"Nope!" She snapped. _Do you think you've creeped her out enough for her to finally leave you? Do you think she's disgusted by you?_

"You stop talking. I can't take anymore of this on an empty stomach… Yeah… we're gonna go and get pancakes first." Then she suddenly looked over at me and I was certain that she was going to slap me or something but all she did was mutter "Hmm… pancakes…" and then she nodded.

_You know… sometimes this chick is almost as crazy as you are. _Can you please shut up?

I personally do believe that the word 'confusion' was invented for the way that I was feeling throughout the way to the diner near our building. Bella looked determined and I didn't know whether that was for the pancakes or the potentially painful conversation that we were going to have.

The next time Bella spoke was when the waitress came along… and it was just my luck that she was more interested in making eyes at me than her job.

"Hey! My name is Amber, what can I get you?" She said in an irritatingly breathy voice.

Seriously, what the hell is one supposed to do in a situation like this? Bella is sitting across from me and she's in a… mood. And this chick looks like she's seconds away from starting to drool…

So, I obviously did what any _sane _gentleman would do, didn't spare her a second glance, but it was to no effect, her gaze wasn't wavering… I must do something about this. _You think dumbass?_

After waiting a considerable amount of time, I was about to direct the waitresses attention towards Bella (who was now so amused whether at my discomfort or at the waitresses' antics I'll never know) but Bella obviously did it for herself…

"Amber! Hey Amber! Hi Amber, I know he's hot sweetheart but trust me… you don't want him… Seriously, he's a chubby chaser; he makes me eat chocolate cake out of his belly-button… I know! What a creep right?" WHAT THE HELL?! The waitress who seemed rather attracted to me some time ago was now looking at me with utter disgust. "Now, I'll have the pancakes topped with peaches and strawberries with a side of the chicken sausage and he will have the scrambled eggs with a side of bacon, as soon as you can love, chop-chop!" Bella finished with a large smile on her face and the scandalized waitress scrambled away from our table while I was left gaping at this impossible woman in front of me…

"I can't believe you just did that!" I whisper screamed at Bella who was banging the table with her fist and laughing so hard that she actually snorted. This just made her laugh harder.

"I'm so sorry Edward but whenever I genuinely laugh I sound like a pig…" She gasped out between laughs.

"Did you have to do that? Goodness lady!" I protested… Because I'd never do something like making her eat chocolate cake out of my belly button… that's just sick… Eating chocolate cake out of hers though… totally doable… great now I'm gonna have a boner. _And you're a disgusting pervert… don't forget that little detail._

"I'm sorry Edward but it was either this or bitch slapping her for being so rude, I went with the less violent yet more hilarious option… can you imagine the kinds of things she's telling everyone in the kitchen about you." She got that evil excited look on her face again.

"Are you always this vicious?" I asked, smiling, because I couldn't deny that it was rather funny.

"I am when someone is potentially messing with me…" she said raising an eyebrow… we were not laughing anymore.

"I already told you that I'm not joking…"

"I don't believe you!"

"Why not?"

"Because… Edward, you're you and I'm me… and I don't believe you and seriously if you're playing a rather hurtful prank on me on my birthday then you are an asshole." She said in a matter of fact tone.

"Okay, that's you're reason… 'You're you and I'm me' what the hell is that supposed to mean? Do not tell me that suddenly you have body image issues!"

"I don't!" she insisted "most of the time…" she added in a small voice.

"So what you're saying is that I make you doubt yourself?" I asked… rather hurt actually.

"No! Edward… I'm saying that have you ever actually looked at yourself, like properly? You're tall and you have that body and that face and those cheekbones and those stupid green fucking EYES! And you're voice is all deep and URGHHHH! I can't believe I just believe I just said that! But my point is that you're a 10 beyond a shadow of a doubt… you are a 10 and by the regular people standards I'm a 7, 8 if I push myself… I mean don't get me wrong I've got a killer personality and I'm well read and I'm really fun to be around not to mention that by fat people's standards I'm like a 15 out 10. But not seriously can you genuinely not see why I'd be a little skeptical if an attractive… fuck hot guy just tells me that he's been having wet dreams about me" Did she just fucking call herself a seven… I'm offended at that.

"How dare you… How dare you make this about yourself…? I wasn't joking with you or playing a prank on you… I was embarrassed last night! You're the one who wanted to talk about it and now you're telling me that you can't believe that I fact I'm attracted to you? Did you just call yourself a seven… okay so wait a minute you're educated, successful, you have the most epic personality, I've been living with you for like 4 months now and I haven't had a dull moment, you're funny and then you look like you do… those eyes that literally look like pools of chocolate, in fact you're whole face is… I… Amazing! And you're tits! Have you looked at you tits? Because I have and let me just tell you that I want to bury my face in them and literally stay there… forever! And you're ass! Aargh! Do you realize how many times I've had to shove my hands inside my pockets to keep myself from grabbing that ass! And then there's the fact that you dress like…. Like that" I said gesturing at her get up "like you're trying to murder me and then you call yourself a fucking seven? You are the most beautiful woman in the world! What the hell is the scoring pattern here?!" There… Now she knows… _great… do you think she'll report you to the police now?_

I didn't know but Bella was looking at me with a rather surprised expression and she was also blushing… which made me want to kiss the hell out of her plump lips. She was trying to hold back a smile and failing miserably…

_Well maybe she's not going to the police after all…_

"You know the whole comment about the tits is kinda' weird because… seriously? 'Stay there forever'? But besides that… Oh who the fuck am I kidding, tits comment included, that was rather flattering… You're a creep, but you're a cute creep and if you ever told anyone that I blushed, I will murder in your sleep… But yeah Edward… thanks."

"You're welcome…"

"I mean I already knew I'm fuck hot!"

"Of course"

"And even though I called you a 10, you're still a ginger."

"Obviously…"

"This is getting awkward now…"

"Yeah…"

"Can we just delete that this ever happened?"

"Is that an option?"

"I'm making it an option." She said.

_Why the hell are you disappointed, you utter idiot? _I dunno' maybe I was expecting for this to lead us somewhere… _Be thankful that she isn't suing you for sexual harassment asshole._

Amber the waitress came back with our order, Bella ordered us some juice and Amber stumbled away from the table as if someone had just set off a stink bomb in the vicinity.

We ate, talked, laughed at another hurried visit from Amber and I just kept waiting for it to become uncomfortable but then I realized, things with Bella are rarely if ever uncomfortable.

We decided to leave Amber with a generous tip of a hundred dollars for all the mental trauma that we had inflicted on her (I have a trust fund)… and we had just barely made it out of the diner when Amber came running out of there surprising me and Bella, threw the hundred dollar bill in my general direction and screeched in the most unearthly voice "I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY YOU SICKO!" and then she ran back inside.

Leaving me flabbergasted and on the receiving of a large number of judgmental stares and Bella in another laughing fit… but then she looped her arms through mine and announced to the people who had halted for a look at the "SICKO",  
"Yeah… we practice the BDSM lifestyle together… but you must understand, he's a very good master!" by which point I had obviously pulled her away and practically stuffed her in the car.

XXX

"So… how has it been dear brother?" Emmet asked as he came to sit beside me on the couch, Alice insisted that we should all go clubbing because it's Bella's birthday and because a Harry Potter movie marathon doesn't really measure up to Alice's standards of a 'celebration'.

"It's been great… have you been watching Sherlock again Em?" I asked in reply because that's really the only time that he calls me 'dear brother'.

"Yeah… obviously." He shrugged.

"But no seriously, what's it like? Living with Bella?" Jasper asked.

"Um… it's interesting." I said, my mind reeling back to the morning and the diner and I couldn't help but smile.

"OMG YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING!" Emmet exclaimed.

"What! No! Emmet shut up!" I hushed him, fearing that Jacob the giant might hear him and decide to go through with the umbrella threat.

"Then what was that weird ass smile all about?" He enquired.

"Man, I'm human… I smile sometimes." I gave him a look that clearly stated that 'you're an idiot'.

"Well, will you please elaborate...? I mean judging from the stories that Alice has been telling, it has to be more than 'It has been great…'!" Jasper insisted.

"Guys… first of all let me just tell you that you people need to get a life, no one should be this interested in other people's business…" to which both of them obviously shrugged and muttered something vague about being in a relationship. "Secondly, what can I say? I mean just today Bella managed to convince an unsuspecting waitress that I'm a chubby chaser who makes her eat chocolate cake out of my belly button…" I shrugged.

Jasper's jaw genuinely dropped in slow motion and Emmet was obviously howling with laughter.

"Yeah… she does shit like that." Jacob said as he came into the room with a beer. Yeah make yourself at home why don't you… asshole.

"Where am I whenever all this fun stuff is happening?" Jasper whined.

"Wrapped around Alice's little finger…" Emmet shot back.

"Oh you're one to talk…" Jasper retorted.

"Yes boys! You are both equally pussy whipped…" I smirked to which Jacob raised an eyebrow, which was clearly meant to say, 'look who's talking here'.

We had been waiting for the girls for almost an hour, making general small talk and passing time when the door to Bella's room finally opened and out came Alice and Rose, both of them were dressed for a night out, clubbing, Alice was wearing a silver halter neck which went mid thigh with bright orange pumps. Rose on the other hand was dressed in a strapless red number with matching red stilettos, they stood on either side of the doorway and Alice announced, "Gentlemen hold on to something… because this chick has been known to hit like a hurricane-"

"Is that a comment on my weight?!" Bella yelled from inside the room.

"Bella shut up and let Alice do her monologue thing so that we can finally go to the fucking club!" Rosalie yelled.

"You're not the boss of me!" Bella called out but didn't speak after that.

"Ahem! Anyways… where were we… oh yes! Hurricanes! Yeah… Gentlemen… I give you, Bella Swan!" She said in her best announcer voice and Rosalie waved her arms about like those women on the infomercials who look like made in china duplicates of Barbie.

I however was rendered speechless when Bella finally walked out of the room, Her hair which was usually wild and curly had been tamed to sleek straight do, it was parted in the middle and framed her face magnificently, she was wearing a black bustier and black slim fitted pants topped off with a Bottle green waistcoat and had matching bottle green ankle-boots which had almost 6 inch heels… in summation Bella Swan looked like a sexual fantasy on legs… I was about to start drooling when I noticed that she was wearing a deathly hallows pendent on a thin, long gold chain and that just made me smile… because c'mon… how do you not smile at that.

_You do not deserve her…_

I know…

"Damn bitch! You trying to kill someone!" Jacob hollered.

"HELLO HOTNESS!" Emmet yelled.

"You look very pretty Bella." Jasper called out.

"Okay guys… you can stop now, you will receive your payments tomorrow." Bella said, "Can we please leave now!" She asked.

I think Jacob and Rosalie both groaned out 'Finally' and we all filed out of the apartment. I was right behind Bella when I took the chance to lean in and whisper in her ear, "You look amazing Bella…" then she did blush and then turned to me and whispered back, "Yeah well… Beauty is pain because this top is literally so tight that my lungs are currently in my throat, so…" She shrugged.

Seriously how do you not laugh at that?

XXX

We arrived at 'Club Klatch' some fifteen minutes after that particular exchange. All in separate cars so that they wouldn't have to make unnecessary trips to my apartment and everyone could leave at their leisure, Jacob had rented a motorbike because "it's an accessory and transport all in one", whatever's that supposed to mean.

We didn't have to wait in line like the rest because Alice knew the owner of the club, so we were quickly ushered inside.

XXX

I'd love to say that I had a great time partying but being inside the club was almost suffocating… as I look at the crowd on the dance floor while sitting on a barstool, I'm reminded that just a year ago, I was one of these people, the only difference was the fact that I was on a path of self destruction and not just having a good time.

The girls had ran off to the dance floor after the first round of various alcoholic beverages and then the boys had followed them… and I just didn't feel like it so I… stayed.

I couldn't even spot them now…

"Hey handsome!" I was pulled out of my reverie by a nasal voiced petite blonde chick who was sitting in the seat beside me… damn! Where'd that sweaty fat man go?

"Hello…" I replied, politely… because I'm polite… and it sucks.

"Are you looking for some company?" she asked… seriously? What are you a hooker? Who says that anymore?

Before I could reply however a familiar voice said from behind me… "No, sweetheart, he's here with me actually…" It was Bella, and she had a spectacular bitch face on… it was magnificent.

The blonde gave her a once over and made the biggest mistake of her life by thinking that she could actually compete with my Bella.

_My Bella?_

Shut up!

"Well it looks like he's with me now…" the blonde sneered and put a hand on my thigh, which genuinely made me want to shudder with disgust, "Why don't you go and get a snack and then go home…" she continued with a mean expression on her face.

I wanted to punch her…

But Bella laughed… "Oh, that's good… that's great… what's your name sweetheart?" she asked her.

"Lindsay." She replied.

"Oh… that's truly unfortunate…" Bella winced and then she moved suddenly and was right in 'Lindsay's' face, "Now listen her _Lindsay_, you see these boots" she said while pointing towards her shoes "they're Gucci and they're my favorite pair, so you'd understand why I don't want to get blood on them… so I suggest that you move along…_ before I snap you like a popsicle stick_" Bella had the most menacing expression on her face as Lindsay gulped and scurried away from us … and I had never felt as attracted to her as I was right this instant.

"Wow…" I whispered, wide eyed and everything.

"You didn't actually want her did you?" She asked but I could see that she didn't actually care so I just shook my head no and grinned at her.

"That was amazing…" and so fucking hot.

"Yeah… I know I'm kick ass… so… Hey handsome, are you looking for some company?" she asked, her eyes twinkling with laughter and I grinned in reply.

"Yes actually I am… can I buy you a drink?" I asked her.

"Actually… I was thinking about getting a snack and going home…" she shrugged and gave me a look that clearly meant 'are you in?'

"Damn woman! You read my mind…" I made to get off the stool but Bella stopped me by putting her hands on my shoulders.

"I want to ask you something… do you want to go out sometime?" she had an uncertain look on her face and it took me some time to figure out what she was **actually **asking.

_Wait… what?!_

"Are you asking me out on a date?" I asked because seriously… what?

"Yes…?" she said it like a question.

"Umm…"

"Edward, you don't HAVE to say yes…"

"No, no, no, I wanna' go!"

"Do you really?"

"YES!"

"Okay, great!" and then she leaned in closer and pressed her lips to mine… and at first I was just frozen but then I realized that I FUCKING KISSING BELLA SWAN so I grabbed onto her waist and pressed her up against me, and moved one of my hands into those amazing hair all while our lips moved together in perfect sync, it was glorious, angels were singing, violins were playing, church bells were ringing and I WAS KISSING BELLA SWAN, her hands were buried in my hair and I WAS KISSING HER!

We broke apart when we couldn't possibly go on without breathing and she pressed her forehead against mine…

"So… Mc nuggets?" I panted.

"Mc nuggets…" she nodded back.

And we left the club, her hand in mine; our fingers intertwined… it felt amazing.

PLEASE READ AN- hey guys! This update was unplanned but then I thought that once exams start I won't really have any free time until march, so I decided to update now, so basically what I'm saying is, god knows when the next update will be… so yeah… HEY! At least I'm not leaving you hanging off a cliffie!  
So the 'update uncertainty' period will be at most a month… and maybe another month, so please stick around. You can follow the story to be informed whenever it is updated… if you're not already…  
**Please review… seriously… you need to review**

Love xx  
~Rosalice.


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